Discussion » Questions » Human Behavior » Remaining civil at all times how much honesty is too much? Is holding back part of you always the wisest thing to do? Why?
RosieG

Remaining civil at all times how much honesty is too much? Is holding back part of you always the wisest thing to do? Why?

Posted - February 28, 2017
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Responses


  • Hi RosieG, lots of penetrating Q’s today, thank you…

    Yes, to me civility is important.
    But here is how I gauge that…I look for what will be most relevant to the person. That is, I try not to ‘pop off’ just because of my need to vent; in our savage world, some people cannot even hear you unless you are storming, raging…

    So yes I can do that too, and have; however it is NOT my preferred way so I don’t maintain ‘friendships’ with those folks, I do what is necessary to make my point and then absquatulate!

      February 28, 2017 4:50 PM MST
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  • 113301
     ((hugs)) That is for the new word m'dear.  I always have a dictionary nearby and I just looked up absquatulate! What a fabulous word! It is akin to abscond but I doubt I would have made that connection if it were not for my dictionary. I have learned of late that it would be wiser of me to hold part of me back. It changes things when I don't. Never for the better. It is a sad lesson learned late. I'm an open book. I always say what's on my mind. I have been told for many years that makes me vulnerable to attack. I have never worried about that. But I do see that sometimes digging deeper than I should or sharing more than I should is not always welcome. I've always  been 100% open. Never thought it would have negative consequences but I see that too much honesty is not everyone's cuppa tea. So at this age I shall try to temper my enthusiasm and restrain/refrain from being too open or too curious. SIGH.  Thank you for your thoughtful and informative reply. I want to share a small anecdote with you. Years ago at the Exploratorium in San Francisco (a FABULOUS science-oriented place) I went there with my son and his friend. My son is 51 now but at that time he was attending Cal Berkeley and in his teens. His friend wanted to explain all the sciency things that were there. There were "right" ways to experience them and Rosie ways. I got annoyed at him because I just wanted to experience it on my own and he kept getting in the way with his professorial (albeit well-meaning) insistence on explaining things. He took the joy totally out of it and I felt as if I were in a class being lectured to...not my favorite thing. My son said to him (I didn't hear it..his friend told me later) "my mom is like a curious puppy who bounces around with delight exploring things ". Now isn't that a lovely  way to explain me to anyone? I'm still that same curious puppy, tail wagging, expecting to find out things I didn't know before and enjoy the journey. I hope I always will be that. It's provided many great days and fun. Maybe I didn't go about it the "proper" way but who is to say that proper is better than unfettered/unrestricted?:)
      March 1, 2017 2:47 AM MST
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  • 3463
    I have learned to pick my battles and will remain civil as long as I can unless someone gives me a reason not to.
      February 28, 2017 5:23 PM MST
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  • 113301
    I usually leave at that point Lulu'sMom. I try to be civil at all times and I'm not always successful but it is always my goal. I don't engage with those who waste my time. Time-wasters are the ones who show up simply to goad, attack you or otherwise diminish you. I don't have time for that nor do I have the inclination so I leave. You have always been civil, cordial, friendly. I can't imagine you otherwise! Thank you for your reply m'dear and Happy Wednesday! :)
      March 1, 2017 2:32 AM MST
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