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Discussion » Questions » Relationships » Maybe y'all know the answer. Why would someone who used to be a friend become vitriolic/vindictive/vicious? Any clue?
RosieG

Maybe y'all know the answer. Why would someone who used to be a friend become vitriolic/vindictive/vicious? Any clue?

I understand walking away and never looking back. i have done that. But attacking with venom and being mean-spirited? What in the he** would cause that? Someone who is used to being sucked up to can't stand it when folks don't? What kind of person does that and why?

Posted - March 2, 2017
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Responses


  • 3463
    Maybe they were not a true friend in the first place.
      March 2, 2017 1:25 PM MST
    3

  • 113301
    Yeah. Another wrong assessment on my part Lulu'sMom. :( I guess I'm just a sap who will never learn from past mistakes. Thank you for your reply! :)
      March 3, 2017 7:28 AM MST
    0

  • 1128
    A real friend is not vindictive or vicious. I seriously do not know why people attack one another.  It makes no sense!
      March 2, 2017 3:50 PM MST
    4

  • 113301
    Me too neither SA! Thank you for your reply and Happy Friday! :)
      March 3, 2017 7:23 AM MST
    1
  • AG

    261
    Usually it's because an outside source entered the party with "information" to turn the friend against you. And the friend decided to trust the other person over you. A lot of the time, the other person is a friend who you trust and who you think has your back. But secretly they don't and are undermining you. That's how they can gain the trust of your friend so easily. This post was edited by AG at March 3, 2017 2:02 PM MST
      March 3, 2017 7:25 AM MST
    2

  • 113301
    Believe it or not, sadly so, I followed every word you said and know from that you have been there too. SIGH. How do you protect yourself against that? I guess you can't!  Thank you for your reply AG! :)
      March 3, 2017 7:30 AM MST
    1

  • 261

    There is no way to do that except to just only say things you won't mind getting back to you. Personally this is one of the reasons I prefer to have public conversations now rather than private ones. It's easier for your words to not get twisted around that way. 

    You're welcome:)

      March 3, 2017 7:48 AM MST
    1

  • 113301
    I learned that long ago.Side note. Years ago I worked in a sales office. One of the salesmen and I became became really good friends (I thought)! Visited his home from time to time. Met his wife and kids and I clicked with them too. He was kinda like the brother I never had but always had wanted (I thought). One day my boss(who was a real jacka**) said something to me that I had only confided in my "friend". I was so shocked/hurt/devastated I still remember it to this day.  That was 50 years ago AG! I never spoke to him again. If he talked to me in the office I simply ignored him.  It hurt me to give up the friendship of his wife and darling kids as well. I think maybe I grew up that day and decided that no one would ever again get close enough to me to hurt me like that. SIGH. Thank you for your reply AG.
      March 3, 2017 1:58 PM MST
    0