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Discussion » Questions » Relationships » I always wondered why those who had been together a long time (30 years) would break up. Time has no bearing on it, does it?
RosieG

I always wondered why those who had been together a long time (30 years) would break up. Time has no bearing on it, does it?

I thought if you had been together that long you had already weathered all the storms and you would be able to go the distance. Same thing with other relationships. Friends/relatives/whatever. But there is no time frame for it. People can change whenever wherever however on a dime. After a very short or very long time. Options are always open and behavior/attitude/views are always up for grabs, flexible, fluid. The older you get the  more you realize you know very little. I guess by the time I die I'll realize I never knew anything. :(

Posted - March 2, 2017
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Responses


  • 6023
    "Mid-Life Crisis" and "Menopause" ... two large strains on marriage that would likely happen after 30 years.
      March 2, 2017 12:34 PM MST
    4

  • 113301
    It is so funny (odd) that you would mention that Walt. Here's why. I just this very morning(Friday) Googled "Mid-life crisis". I have a long-time friend whose recent actions are very puzzling. In fact I'm going to ask a question about it. Thank you for your reply and Happy Friday! :)
      March 3, 2017 5:55 AM MST
    0

  • I haven't had that long of a relationship, but 17 years worth almost qualifies me to answer your question....I ended this relationship simply because I woke up out of the stupor I was in. I got tired of being controlled and micromanaged. My life was work and home, no friends, wasn't allowed (because of the paranoia that I might talk to someone) I could go on and on. I finally woke up one day, got my ducks in a row, and left with nothing but my truck, my clothes, and a few items that were my mom's. Wasn't easy. It was the path I was meant to take, I wouldn't change a thing, as it led me to be where I am today with the love of my life. I now know what it means when you're told "you just know"
      March 2, 2017 2:04 PM MST
    5

  • It takes courage ... Not only to cast yourself adrift, but I think to admit yourself that you might have been living a lie .... I'm glad you are happy ...
      March 2, 2017 3:16 PM MST
    5

  • Thank you. :)
      March 2, 2017 3:58 PM MST
    2

  • :)
      March 2, 2017 4:08 PM MST
    0

  • 113301
    Gee Angela I'm so happy you had the strength/courage to make a change after that long. Good for you! I know it's easier to just keep going on. Moving on is always difficult. Good Job! Atta Girl! And that you now have a great love is just, well, supercalifragilisticexpialidocious! Thank you for sharing that part of your life. I understand better thanks to you. Learning about first-hand experiences is always more helpful to me than simple opining! Happy Friday! :)
      March 3, 2017 5:59 AM MST
    1

  • Sometimes "Fed up", takes a longtime coming. 
      March 2, 2017 5:02 PM MST
    2

  • 113301
    I guess so Lago. I've had several relationships where I bailed, but always within a matter of a few years. Jim and I will have been together 20 years this September. This is the one I will never bail from. Maybe it takes some bad experiences to make you appreciate or be worthy of the really good ones. Thank you for your reply and Happy Friday! :)
      March 3, 2017 6:02 AM MST
    0
  • AG

    261
    They probably were having issues, but kept them under the rug.

    Someone recently told me that she was hiding a lot of abuse and protecting her marriage because she so badly wanted it to be her first marriage and her only marriage. But that she finally realized and accepted it had to end more than 15 years later.
      March 3, 2017 7:08 AM MST
    1

  • 113301
    So she took abuse for 15 years? Geez I could never do that. One slap or hit and I'm outta there! Thank you for your reply AG! :)
      March 3, 2017 2:48 PM MST
    0

  • 261
    I guess so. And I'm glad you won't. You're welcome.
      March 10, 2017 3:49 AM MST
    1

  • 113301
    We teach people how to treat us AG. If we respect ourselves we do not allow others to disrespect us. It's as simple as that. :)
      March 10, 2017 4:40 AM MST
    1