Yes, in a way... definitely.. I've explained my thinking before.. but it goes something like this.. while I appreicate that in most cases every cloud has a silver lining and that it's important that we learn from experiences.. sometimes .. it goes beyond that.. and all we learn is how to be closed, and mistrustful.. I regret that.. I don't want to judge new people by the actions of previous people.. I want to give chances, I want to trust until I have reason not to.. I want to leap in without having to worry about that safety net.. I think it makes me less of the person I should be now.. so yes if I could just forget completely.. that would be better :)
Actually? I usually forget about them pretty quickly and don't dwell on it. Haven't had many actually cause me harm but have had some things said to me by people over the years and I just forget about them. I remember some of them from time to time but I never hold a grudge as it's not good for you!
How can you love them by forgetting them? Love them not love to forget them, methink it goes.
This post was edited by O-uknow at March 7, 2017 1:39 PM MST
I would love to, but I have a memory like an elephant when I've been wronged. That's one of my major faults. I hold a grudge for a long time. I wish it weren't true, but it is.
I think I sometimes have the opposite problem. I have made the mistake of opening up myself to loved ones again that I shouldn't have.
I have a very toxic sibling that has hurt me deeply before and because she was family, I let my guard down when she wanted forgiveness. Now I am dealing with a horrible betrayal from her and I could just kick myself for being so damn forgiving.
I never thought I could ever get jaded after surviving decades of crap, but I fear this latest may change me forever. :(
It's natural to feel betrayed, PP. I know it sounds juvenile, but revenge does help sometimes. No...you don't have to burn their house down or lop off a finger...sometimes it's as simple as getting their phone # and email onto a mailing list for an Erectile Dysfunction Cure or the Bosley Hair Loss Clinic. It's the little things that help
This post was edited by Benedict Arnold at March 7, 2017 3:11 PM MST
I sure remember the days of how the best way to get some revenge was to sign someone up for a record or book club where they would get slammed with products they never ordered.
Pizza deliveries used to be some fun before they had caller ID. LOL
Hmm. In which ways? Someone insulting me, pfft. I will remember them but not pay too much attention towards them as long as they stay away from me. Those who have hurt my soul, hmm. Nah, I don't want to forget them. I will try to remember what good they were to me, and will try not to focus only on the part(s) where they hurt me. Goes for friends and loved ones. Others who have harmed me, I will like with the insulting ones get past it, not forgetting it but simply not allowing it to rule my mind.
Getting to the point of forgetting someone that has done you wrong is a process and I don't think there are any real shortcuts. I think how fast you recover depends on what that person meant to you to start with and how grievous their betrayal was.
There are many people in my past that once hurt me real bad that I no longer have any real thought or emotion about. If it's a fresh hurt and a deep one, it can feel very overwhelming.
As much as I wish I had the ability to turn off my "wheels" when I am hurting bad, I personally haven't mastered the ability. But once work out my emotions, I am quite good at letting things or people "go".
One of the things that helps me is knowing that I have a much better life then those that have hurt me. My ex-hubby married a bltch from hell that we call the "troll" and he is very unhappy. Karma is a bltch, and has served me well when it comes to people who have hurt me. You have a good life with a great guy and people who love you that others wish they had. We both have more positive things going for us then the ones who have caused us pain.
I know once the real sting of this fades, I will remember the good life I do have. My sister is a miserable, pilling popping bitch who blames everyone for her misery. I just happen to be her target right now because she desperately wants what I have...a good heart and a good mind.
I am probably more angry at myself for letting my guard down and letting my sentimental side win over my common sense side. She showed me who she was a long time ago. I made the mistake of thinking mutual grief should fix all that was wrong before.
This post was edited by Benedict Arnold at March 7, 2017 3:11 PM MST
Benedict Arnold 
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