Dear Grin, I have been thinking about your Q since you posted it...sensitive and insightful...
* * * And I would prolly answer, all of them...I have grown to appreciate, maybe even love, ALL my insecurities and that is a LOT of them. Fear, anxiety, shy, stuttering, nail-bitten to the blood, dumb, everybody had it all figured out but me, I was certain, plus I was so sure I was ugly on top of all that too!
I don't really know how it happened, but now I would not change anything...somehow it seems you can end up with a deeper experience of life when you thread your way through all that...
Aren't my flaws only flaws as they relate to others? It is the others who have problems with my flaws, no? Im actually fine with them. if there weren't others to call them flaws, they would just be what they are. I mean, being lazy is a flaw inasmuch as others want me to get up and do stuff, but to me, I perfectly fine with it . What do you think?
This post was edited by Benedict Arnold at March 20, 2017 3:37 AM MDT
I had my serious face on until I got to the lazy bit and then I splurted coffee everywhere. I understand what you're saying, of course. A weed is a weed by interpretation as it is ascribed little wirth but in itself weeds away like any other fauna, unincumbered by critical evaluation. But but but but ... we can identify things about us that we would prefer not be there, or we would like to minimise to make others' lives around us less uncomfortable. It's hard for me to say 'I'm short-tempered and that's somebody else's problem and not mine' because a lot of the time my explosiveness can be upsetting for someone else. I would have to find value in me doing that and if I don't then I see myself as flawed. You're more confident than I am, maybe that's got something to do with something.
This post was edited by Benedict Arnold at March 20, 2017 3:58 AM MDT
Like I said, its others that put a negative connotation on being short tempered, making Others lives more "comfortable", personally, I'd say being short tempered actually saves time, no? Or when people say, do you have a drinking problem, hm, not really, Others have a problem with my drinking, for example, as for me, I could say I'm just fine. But I understand what you're saying, ..." What if I consider it a flaw MYSELF right?" Then you're just being an "other" to yourself. I just wrotethat last bit,cause it sounded good . . . and clever, but it probably means nothing. )
I'll go with Virginia on this one. On my journey of self esteem, complete self acceptance was necessary. Flaws and all, I accept them all. In time, I've learned to love them too.
My strong disdain and anxiety over large groups of strangers. I am honestly glad I become on edge and stay aware of my surroundings in such situations. to me it only makes sense and shows a sense of reality to be uncomfortable with it.
Benedict Arnold 