She is not too bad, not over the top, but little things like when the toddler gets milk vs. juice in a day, and when he should have a jacket on , and when he falls and I'm consoling him, she takes him from me. I just wondered how others might view /feel? I often doubt my own feelings and I know she is a great mom... it is just a few things sometimes I wonder , b/c I am someone with many years child care experience.. another thing I'm not sure on, she has not said my name to the child (1 1/2 yrs. old).. she'll say 'say hi' , but never with my name. I take care of him/teach him, and I don't take it that personally, but I just also wondered what others may think... ty for your ideas.
Irrespective of how many years you may have experience wise, it's the child's mother ... and one thing I have learnt is that logic in such a situation often doesn't play a role ... I'm sure you've already thought of this but there's probably a bit of guilt on her part at play here also ... she should be the one doing this stuff with her child ... I could be wrong though :)
Thanks Oz... well the thing is, many caregivers, when they are there, feel they are in charge for the most part.. it's not like she's doing it 'all' the time, but small things like coats , bottles, and when he is tired etc, are things I'm def. aware of... I think it is mainly b/c it is her first child, and she did say once, 'i feel bad sometimes I'm going to work'.. but the main thing, is my name; she has never said it to him.. I've been with him, teaching/playing etc, and I just feel like should he 'not' know it or something? Any child I've been with in past, their parent said my name from the first day on, toddler or older. So, it makes me feel I'm just like someone in the background helping here or there. I do overall really enjoy them and she is a great mom, its just do you say, 'oh I've got it, no problem' when parent intervenes several times?
Hmm, sounds like she doesn't want you replacing her in the child's mind as primary care giver, and I can understand that from her point of view, from your point of view I can also understand your concerns ... maybe the answer depends on whether you feel her actions are detrimental to the situation or not
No, I don't feel it is something like a hovering parent, just I've read where people who are a nanny say had to explain to the parent that they do things differently. And that the child, if they are with them for a number of hours, will not look to the caregiver as the one who is in charge of them, if the parent consistently changes what they are doing etc. Overall she is not like that , it is just little things, I just wonder do ppl say , 'Oh I do it such and such..' and explain it.. b/c I'm very shy. Also I wonder when he'll learn my name lol.. he's been speaking a couple months now, and I feel very on edge to say it.. oh well it is just secondary and I thank u so much Oz *huggg :)
That's ok ... I often find trying to explain issues to others helps clarify then in my own mind ... I'm not a mom and never had your role so don't know how useful my thoughts are anyway lol :)
They were very useful, thank you !! :)
