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Discussion » Questions » Relationships » Guys, how many can honestly say, you'd be Ok with being friends for a while before beginning a relationship?

Guys, how many can honestly say, you'd be Ok with being friends for a while before beginning a relationship?

To get to 'know' each other, with a connection, and bond first? Would you get wary w/out intimacy, or see where it may go in time?

Posted - July 17, 2016

Responses


  • Sure, why not?

      July 17, 2016 11:19 AM MDT
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  • 1138

      July 17, 2016 1:30 PM MDT
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  • 46117

    I think that is the way most guys are.  It is the women who are desperate hounds for a relationship. 

      July 17, 2016 1:40 PM MDT
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  • 3934

    That would depend upon your definition of "relationship."

    I don't think I'm breaking any news by noting that men tend to desire physical intimacy much sooner than women do when involving themselves with a new person. I would agree that, compared to men, women are generally quicker to seek emotional intimacy and exclusivity than men.

    And, of course, if this product ever gets mass-produced, the human race is doomed....;-D...

      July 17, 2016 1:57 PM MDT
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  • 275

    It's a complete waste of time.  Studies have shown that women decide within the first ten seconds of meeting a guy if they're going to have sex with him or not.  

    If you want to be friends with a woman because you enjoy her company and find her interesting then just be friends, but if you're a guy, it's a complete waste of time to think that a woman is going to "come around" to wanting a romantic relationship.  For every one case you can find where something like that has actually happened, there are probably at least 200 other cases of guys who didn't realize how completely "friend-zoned" they were.  Women are extremely obsessed with physical height and body type, and if you don't fit a woman's mental image of the kind of man she wants to have sex with then any idea of romance is a fantasy. 

      July 17, 2016 2:01 PM MDT
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  • 3934

    I would say yes, but it's not the way to bet.

    There is a substantial body of research indicating we make our "would date/would not date decision" about other people within SECONDS of meeting them. This (and other observations I've made over time) suggest the following two scenarios are most common:

    1) Two people who actually want to date are "friends" for a time until one of them gets the courage up to suggest dating.

    2) Between two friends, one person wants to date the other, while the other just wants to remain friends. Bringing up dating in this scenario produces varying degrees of awkwardness. Sometimes the friendship survives, sometimes it doesn't.

    Of course, you'll never know what scenario applies to you until you inquire....;-D...

      July 17, 2016 2:08 PM MDT
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  • 1138

    Wow I think some women are like that. I for one am the COMPLETE and utter opposite. So not 'all ' women think friendship is any waste of time with a man, nor do they only want a man with a fit body. I actually want friendship first, hands down. If I know a man only wants me for sex, I'd feel so used, it would be a time to not continue any relationship for me. If I feel he wants to KNOW me, not my body, just like I would him, and laugh, and have friendship first, I would LOVE that. I think men seem to want to rush into a relationship and define it more than women.. but perhaps it can be based on each person too. ty for replying toda C

      July 17, 2016 2:31 PM MDT
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  • 1138

    Ty so much for such a reflective response. :) I think finding a bond , connection and friendship first, would be so much more rewarding and mean more, than a hook up or rushing into a 'bf/gf' status. I especially liked your last sentence:)  It is so so nice to know there are men out there who would ENJOY really knowing a woman fo rher, for her mind and wants etc, than her body only/or what status they might have together. Ty again !! 

      July 17, 2016 2:34 PM MDT
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  • 275

    For women, the friendship period is just a means of testing out guys that you've already given your initial approval to.  Even if you made the guy wait through a friendship period, your initial decision of whether or not you'd be physically intimate with a man was made within the first ten seconds of meeting him - you just added the "pending further approval" clause.  If a man doesn't fit your initial physical parameters, and you decide in that first ten seconds there's no chance of a romantic relationship, then a friendship may exist, but it will never go beyond that. 

      July 17, 2016 4:44 PM MDT
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  • 1138

    I agree with number one. I think to at least HAVE that bond and friendship is what I'm aiming for... most guys seem like 'is the other side greener?' and to want to play with several women, or , just jump right into intimacy or 'relationship' status. Not ALL men :) I just am looking forward to that day I will meet someone I have a great friendship , and spark with too ... ty so much. love that comic  :P

      July 17, 2016 7:56 PM MDT
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  • 359

    Being put into the friend zone by a woman is a good sign that she is really looking for a better male to be her partner and she is just putting you into a holding pattern as a fall back option if she does not succeed in getting a better man.. Any man with any amount of self respect would never accept being put into the friend zone by a woman.. That is the end of any future romantic partnership possibility for a real man..

      July 17, 2016 8:58 PM MDT
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  • 489
    Actually I'm sort of doing that at the moment, just taking my time to get to know someone. The nice thing is I just find myself liking this person more and more. And it's a slow build of a bond rather than diving into it headfirst - which I've done before and didn't end very well. It crashed and burned almost as spectacularly as it had ignited.
      July 17, 2016 9:05 PM MDT
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  • 1138

    Hi A, the thing is, I think if a man and woman have already been romantic, and then she says lets be friends, that might be different you know? Then she wants to back off, or take a break etc. But I think many relationships, I've read online, and heard in 'real' life too, started with being friends for a bit of time, whether a few months, or a year. Then someone came forward one day with the 'I kind of like you as more... ' and the other felt the same. So I don't think if a man and woman are friends there is no possibility for them to be romantic..  :)

      July 18, 2016 6:20 AM MDT
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  • Exactly.

      July 18, 2016 8:32 AM MDT
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  • Been there, done that.  Seems to be working so far.  :)

      July 18, 2016 9:31 AM MDT
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