Active Now

Shuhak
Spunky
Discussion » Questions » Communication » What would you think if a friend asked you to....?
Baybreeze

What would you think if a friend asked you to....?

Remind them to text you the next day... about possible dinner plans? I just don't know how to feel; my friend has asked me twice in various situations, to 'remind' her to text me
the following day about hanging out. It made me feel like how important am I or our friendship that I have to remind her??? :/ Then another time she also just 
ignored my text completely on going out to dinner one night (we had made tentative plans). I just don't know how to feel b/c I doubt myself often and think, oh
am I being sensitive? (but that is also what my abusive mother used to tell me when she'd rage, 'you are being sensitive').. so I don't know how accurate that really is either..What would u think about a friend that says this ?

Posted - August 6, 2017
Tags : None

Responses


  • 7126
    If a friend needs to be reminded about plans with a text, she could just be forgetful.

    If she ignores my texts, then she's not a friend.

    Other than that, don't overthink it.
      August 6, 2017 12:33 AM MDT
    1

  • 1138
    Then how much could that friend have 'really' have wanted to hang out, you know? Esp when u only hang out every few months?  I'd feel very strange and uninterested in someone if I said to them, 'sure yes let's do dinner tomorrow'! '... oh can u remind me?? Like, I'd think it might insult that person... like reminding you to get the clothes in dryer, or something like that. She sure does not need reminding on shopping or hanging out with her new work friends ... yes twice, she just ignored me in text; one for definite dinner plans (said at 9pm .. sorry I was tired), and then recently, we had tentative dinner plans and I 'reminded ' her the next day, and she never even got back to me at all that day or night. Once I helped her move, and she said I hope you don't mind I can't pay you or do anything for you.. and I replied, 'no problem' and she said, 'its great to have friends that can do something for you and don't mind being repaid'.. NOw I wouldn't ever want to be repaid or ask for it, but 'I'd ' never let a friend help me all day in heat and not get them maybe a coffee.. I just feel like I'm nothing really to her and even though these are not 'bad' things, they make me feel low. ugh I'm so sorry to rant. I just wanted a opinion, b/c I doubt myself, ty Lyrical
      August 6, 2017 12:42 AM MDT
    1

  • 7126
    Looks like it's time to find a new friend. She sounds like a user. Don't doubt yourself and don't play doormat. Because people like that are more than happy to let you do it.
      August 6, 2017 12:45 AM MDT
    1

  • 13071
    do it. he he. do it. he he.
      August 6, 2017 12:48 AM MDT
    1

  • 7126
    Mind your own beeswax.  
      August 6, 2017 1:47 AM MDT
    1

  • 13071
    Bees he he, wax he he, wax he , bees he he. ;D
      August 6, 2017 1:48 AM MDT
    2

  • 7126
    Looks like I've met my match in the insomnia department.

    And you know who is gonna be joining us shortly.....

      August 6, 2017 1:51 AM MDT
    0

  • 1138
    Thanks L. I feel she only gets 'around' to me if she has maybe no other friend to hang out with... I initiated every dinner or hang out we had last year, and I stopped this spring.. what also got me was the other day when I told her I couldn't come to her house b/c I was visiting my dad who had a stroke, she said in text, 'oh sorry I never called, i was busy at work... hope he's feeling better.' ; I still have not replied. I feel bad b/c I reply to any text a friend sends, but it means she has known for a Week about my dad, and never said anything :(   I mean we have been friends for 24 YEARS , so it meant I'm REALLY on the back burner when I never heard from her. Yes, it might be time you are right.. ty again Lyrical , appreciate your reples this eve.
      August 6, 2017 12:53 AM MDT
    0