All reactive attack backs are not alike. It depends upon the target. A tough warrier or a grieving young widow are not alike. Are they?

It seems to me that a proportionate response makes sense. Anything else doesn't. Is it lack of control that causes some to see "the enemy" as the same no matter whom it might be? Some kind of dysfunctional view of what is and what is not that control the person? Why not let it slide? What could it hurt?