Discussion»Statements»Rosie's Corner» Any couple ought to be able to invite anyone they want to whatever occasion. But sometimes they don't dare. Ever been faced with that?
Any couple ought to be able to invite anyone they want to whatever occasion. But sometimes they don't dare. Ever been faced with that?
If some family members or friends are on the outs then inviting certain folks who can't stand each other to the same function can only end badly. Whom have you had to NOT invite to a gathering/social occasion/party because of that?
Its too bad that some people can't put aside their differences and personal prejudices long enough to just break bread and hang out with each other. But some people seem to feel it is their sworn duty to always be running their numbers or to proselytize or judge at social occasions. Or to dominate and abuse others as though it is some kind of game or competition. Fortuitously most people we know and socialize with are not like that and are willing rather to come together over common and shared enjoyments or common problems than let differences keep them apart. I have neighbors and acquaintances, mainly female, who undoubtedly hate me - for my politics, lifestyle choices, or for whatever other reasons - yet we hail each other on the street and we pass the time of day talking about our health and the weather or we serve together on boards and committees where the focus is on our shared concerns. And certainly some of them I don't much care for but they have a right to make whatever happiness in their lives they are able to. Similarly some of the people I work with do resent my longevity and connections here and I'm sure I'm judged negatively among them but when we come together on a task we work together as well as we are able to. Which to me is what it is all about. Because even with our differences we are still probably mostly the same as human beings.
I agree with MOST of what you're saying og. Maybe here's where we differ though. I am VERY SENSITIVE to vibes for lack of a better word. If the environment is uncomfortable I don't stay there long. Now some folks give off VERY HOSTILE vibes. I wish I could explain it more articulately but I don't know how. Suffice it to say that around them I can't breathe so there is no way I can remain in their company. Sometimes it happens with complete strangers. You smile at someone and get a glare and feel a chill. However on the other hand sometimes I have encounters with complete strangers in a bank or a market and we end up hugging. I'm serious. Happened yesterday at the bank where a gal and I were going to enter the bank at the same time and she deferred to me but she was first and I wouldn't let her do so. We ended up chatting while waiting. She was 62 and I'm 80 and I said "I could be your mom". We kvetched about politics. All of this occurred within about 10 minutes. We hugged and I wished her a great New Year. That happens to me all the time everywhere. So I guess it's a crap shoot. I never know what the heck I'm gonna get. I get away from the bad vibe folks ASAP and I engage with the good vibe folks. You too?
Hi! I understand entirely but my point is that we should try to get on with everybody. And people we are working with or socializing with really we have to because others are dependent on our successfully working together with them. So even if there are bad or hostile vibes we put those aside for the greater good for the time being. I know I am a Pollyanna but I always think why can't we all just get along? Won't kill me or anyone to be nice and helpful to someone I or they don't like for a while. I get the bad vibes mostly from other women. I guess men like women enough that they try to be nicer. But so many women seem to act like they are in competition with each other when there really is enough to go around for all.
You don't understand og. It isn't a choice. I get physically ill. I'm not kidding. I have always been that way. I was a PAINFULLY shy child who excelled in school and skipped a few grades. So to say I wasn't the most popular kid is an understatement. It took me years to come out of that shell but it was at a cost. I open up completely to friendly which you have probably already observed by now. I rarely engage with unfriendly and often ignore it completely. Not to be rude but for survival. It sounds dramatic but unless you lived inside my skin you won't understand. It has nothing to do with choice on my part. It is a visceral reaction. There is no setting it aside. Consider it a peanut allergy. I become anaphylactic. If you know what that means you know what I mean now. SIGH. Thank you for your reply! :)
officegirl 