Discussion » Statements » Rosie's Corner » I don't get it. If a woman doesn't want to have sex or be sexually abused what "Non-verbal" cues are there? Doesn't she say NO?
RosieG

I don't get it. If a woman doesn't want to have sex or be sexually abused what "Non-verbal" cues are there? Doesn't she say NO?

Some guy, I don't know which one, said or it was said on his behalf that he wasn't a mindreader and didn't pick up on "non-verbal cues"! What the he ** does that mean? If a woman isn't interested she will tell you so immediately. What woman hints and hopes the guy will pick up on it in a situation like that? Some guys think women never mean "no" but just use it as a tease so they continue the attack/assault and keep going no matter what. Some men are truly dumba**es if they believe that.

Posted - January 16, 2018
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Responses


  • 6098
    I suppose our revulsion and lack of any enthusiasm and pulling away are "non-verbal cues".  But really even if we say no they keep going hoping we will go along which sometimes we do just to put an end to it and not be unpleasant or make a scene. Not a matter for most of us of not wanting sex because we do but we don't with that person  at that time which they don't respect.  And their thinking seems to be OK you have been with other guys so why can't you be with me too?  In their minds that is the way they think while we are not thinking that way at all. 

    Plus we often try to be careful so we will say "no" when we do want sex just because of all the possible negative consequences.  So we can be persuaded even if we don't think we should be.   Oh no way do any of us want to be abused but sometimes we get afraid of more serious consequences and we are thinking in terms of just survival so we let them do what they want to get it over with and extricate ourselves as soon as possible. 

    Would be nice if things were simpler and easier but sometimes we just want to be liked because that is important to us so we go along. And then we continue because we naturally seek relationships and eventually the sex gets better which causes us to stay with someone we may not be very enthusiastic about just because it is some sort of continuing relationship. 
      January 16, 2018 7:16 AM MST
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  • 113301
    This is a really thoughtful analysis of the situation in response to my question. I gather you are speaking from experience sweetie and for that I'm really sorry because it can't have ever been pleasant. There has only ever been one instance in my life that would approach that and I can't share it because it's too  personal. So I guess I've been really lucky. Thank for your reply officegirl and Happy Thursday! :)
      January 18, 2018 3:01 AM MST
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  • 7280
    I would think that falling asleep without having been drugged would be a good clue.
      January 17, 2018 4:52 PM MST
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  • 113301
    That disinterested would be a clue to a normal man (is there such a creature?) but there are men who have had "sex" or whatever you wanna call it with people who are dead. Necrophilia(an erotic attraction to corpses). Necophiliacs! . A sleeping woman is virtually the same thing. If she falls asleep she becomes very vulnerable. I think if she doesn't want to be sexually assaulted she would get the he** out of there . I cannot imagine being that relaxed in such a situation. Thank you for your reply tom! :)
      January 18, 2018 3:05 AM MST
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