* Warning: humor/satire ahead! *
How can a toad ever drain a swamp? Its little hands can’t fit around the drain plug.
Toads thrive in swamps. It’d be counterproductive for our “toad-in-chief” to destroy his habitat. Yes, the “swamp” is full of blood-sucking mosquitoes (republicans?) and snakes (democrats?). However, the swamp is controlled by a multi-headed hydra (lobbyists, corporations, wealthy investors, etc.). Over the years, this hydra has actually become the swamp. Therefore, in order to “drain the swamp” one would first have to slay the hydra. But the hydra is shrewd. It’s blinded the occupants of the swamp into seeing that their beloved “home” is sucking the life out of the land around the swamp. The hydra doesn’t care, as when that land dies, it’ll simply “relocate”, leaving behind those it “claims” to sustain to fend for themselves. Sadly, many fail to realize is that our “toad-in-chief” is really just another head of the giant hydra.