Discussion » Statements » Rosie's Corner » "The ability to feel empathy is shaped by your genes". What isn't?

"The ability to feel empathy is shaped by your genes". What isn't?

Posted - March 12, 2018

Responses


  • 6098
    Nonsense. The ability to do anything is shaped by intention and hard work. Genes can only help out or make it harder. 
      March 12, 2018 6:14 AM MDT
    0

  • 113301
     You think it is nonsense? I disagree with thee 1000%. So what? Thank you for your reply. If you have no talent you will never be a world-class athlete...a great musician...a divine actor. All the intention and hard work in the world doesn't mean a thing if you don't have the right  stuff to begin with. I would LOVE to be a quantum physicist. I could work my a** off and have the best intentions. What do I lack? The brains! What does a wanna be opera star do with hard work and intention if she has a tin ear, is always off key and sounds like a cat in heat? I rest my case. :)
      March 12, 2018 7:19 AM MDT
    0

  • 10880

    I believe everyone is capable of feeling empathy towards others.  Unfortunately, many simply refuse, thus letting their own selfishness rule them instead.    Does it take practice?  Yes.  Does it take patience?  Yes.  Is it worth the trouble?  That’s for you to decide.  Like it or not, all people are jerks.  I mean every one of us can think of at least several people who we think are jerks.  Of course that means that somewhere out there someone probably thinks you’re a jerk as well.  Everyone - no matter their nationality, their skin color or their gender, has problems.  Cancer, illness, heartache, hurt feelings, bad days, missed opportunities - they strike us all.  How many times has your problem been so deep that you think no one else in the entire world could possibly know what you’re going through?  How many times have you wished that there were someone, somewhere who could empathize with you?  Yet so often, when we see someone else having a problem we simply turn a deaf ear to them.  “That’s their problem, not mine”.  Many times our problems are so deep that we get fully involved in them, ignoring others around us.  “Hey, you jerk, why don’t you watch where you’re going?”  We can’t know what another person is thinking.  How do we know that they bumped into us because they were dwelling on the sad fact that a loved one was just diagnosed with incurable cancer?  Maybe it was because they were rude and thought that their phone conversation was more important. 

    Every one of us goes through problems in our lives.  Yet those problems make us better able to empathize with another when they go through that same problem.  For example, someone who has lost a spouse knows more about how another who’s going through the same thing feels than a person who’s never experienced that problem.   If you were having problems in your marriage, who would you rather talk to about it – a person who’d been divorced 8 times or someone who’s been married to the same person for 50 years?  Empathy.  It’s something we’re all capable of doing.  But it takes effort.  We have to set aside our problems in order to empathize with others.  And that’s hard.

     “I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet”

    Helen Keller

     

     -------- 

    Now, being an empath IS heredity (from the genes).  An empath is a person who’s able to sense other people’s emotions just by being around them.  They don’t have to speak to the other person or even see them to feel the emotions.  Sometimes those emotions can be so strong that the empath actually takes them on themselves.  Many empaths have to learn to block foreign emotions (not always easy to do) so that they can live normal lives.  I’m a partial empath as was most of my family.  My mom was a full empath. It took her 70 years to learn how to block other people’s emotions.  Some call being an empath a gift, others call it a curse.  I call it very annoying.

      March 12, 2018 11:22 AM MDT
    1

  • 113301
    Thank you for a very thoughtful, informative and engaging reply Shuhak. I disagree with thee though about one thing. Sociopaths don't feel empathy. I have read that if babies are not cuddled when they're infants they become cold and distant and lack the ability to relate to others. Such a simple thing. So critically important if true. I think doofus don lacks any and all ability to care about others. The contempt/disdain with which he has treated his wives is but one example. His attacks on everyone all the time  is on a level of crude/crass/vicious/vindictive/vitriolic. His constant need for affirmation. Everything all the time centers around him. Now I believe that masks a  vast inadequacy. He lacks confidence and clearly is so needy because he is so empty of self-worth. Perhaps he was not cuddled when he was an infant. He is a bucket that is filled with holes so that no matter what you pour into him flows right out. Those who support him are brainwashed in my opinion. So many of them is what is so shocking and unsettling to me. I used to sympathize with those who suffered from cancer. When it was my turn I learned so much more about the community of cancer sufferers/survivors than I could ever know without that first-hand experience. Same with childbirth. No one has a clue what that involves who hasn't carried a child for 9 months, then given birth. And if you have no children you will never understand what parenting is all about. That's just how it is. So when you encounter people who do care it's rare and you want to be around them. :) As for being an empath I would not be good at it. I don't have the right stuff. I'd have nightmares and be overwhelmed 24/7. It would be like hearing what people think 24/7. The cacophony, the misery, the fear? Couldn't handle it m'dear! Thank you for sharing! :) This post was edited by RosieG at March 13, 2018 4:58 AM MDT
      March 13, 2018 4:58 AM MDT
    0