When I was at college I was very shy and timid and avoided boys as I was scared of sex and all things sexual. To make matters worse I was endowed with a face and figure which another girl might have exploited quite literally to the hilt; but here I was pathetically refusing boys' offers to take me out. I restricted myself to girls' company, particularly one or two close friends, which exasperated quite a few boys, especially one Anil (not his real name) two years my senior, who was temperamentaly boisterous and took particular delight in jeering at me and a girlfriend calling us lesbians, which became my nickname all through my college years, even aftet he had finished. I feared Anil and cowered every time I saw him even glancing at me, which he did often and deliberately, well knowing my fear of him.
A little over 10 years after my postgraduation, when I was 34 or so, I ran into Anil quite accidentally on the street, and I froze. He came over to me smiling, addressed me by my name, not my nickname, and, reading my eyes, assured me he meant no harm or ill feeling, saying that college was over a long time back; and although he had his thrills at my expense years ago, he would never have physically forced me to do anything I wasn't comfortable about. He was a completely changed man, nothing like the boisterous youth he was, very courteous, asked if I had come out of my shell, inquired after my girlfriends, and my profession asking some very interesting and intelligent questions about aspects of my work. He himself had become a financial analyst, and had started his own portfolio management firm in partnership with another equally boisterous college friend who I remember was his lackey. All this conversation took place over tea and snacks at a restaurant (he remembered I was vegetarian).
Over the next few months this very charming young man and I became close and trusting friends sharing even private aspects of our lives, and today he and his partner are my investment advisors, who have helped me do very well financially over the last 10 years. We sometimes laugh about our time in college, and share aspects of our present lives, and he very sincerely tells me I'm throwing away my life by refusing to get married. I've told him he was partly responsible for keeping me away from boys, whereas had he been then the lovely person he is today and helped give me confidence to deal with boys, my life might have been very different.
I'm so happy we had that chance meeting 10 years ago. Sometimes I contemplate that if Anil were not married and a father of one, he might well have made an excellent husband to me. But alas, fate had willed otherwise.
Patchouli 