Discussion»Statements»Rosie's Corner» How good a friend are you? If it doesn't affect you would you just as soon not know about other people's problems?
I hope that my friends would be consider me to be a good friend. I try to be a very good friend to them, and a good friend will always listen to their friends problems. Do I always want to hear about their problems? Honestly... no. Heck, I have enough problems of my own without having to listen to someone else's. Nevertheless, I will still patiently and sincerely listen to them, take interest in their problems and offer whatever support I can (if needed). Sometimes all a person needs is for someone else to listen to them. That's what a friends is for. You see, I try to put my friends ahead of myself. Even if that means I'm "inconvenienced" by having to listen to them cry on the phone at 2 in the morning because their pet just died. No, I'm not a fair weather friend and I don't want any fair weather friends either.
I agree with thee. "Fairweather friends" are worth sh** in my opinion. They are worse than enemies. Thank you for your thoughtful reply. Well yesterday I stood for 20 minutes rubbing the foot of my friend who was undergoing an MRI. She is claustrophobic and tried it once before and couldn't go through with it because she panicked. I asked if I just held her hand would it help? She said she thought it would and the tech said it would be ok. Well the tube covered everything but her feet so I kept rubbing it so she would know I was there. The noise was deafening. They gave me ear plugs and it barely helped. But we did it and she told me that having me there just rubbing her foot even though she couldn't see me is what she focused on completely. Would I do it again? Sure. Did I have any clue what it required? He** no but so what? Friends are there for each other no matter what. Or they are not friends. Thank you for your reply and Happy Friday. I hafta tell ya though at one point I thought I was gonna faint and I started to walk toward a chair. The tech inside the booth yelled out "it's just 5 minutes more" so I went back!
That's a good friend! :) It's always good to know someone's there for you - no matter where you are. Having to endure a medical procedure brings on enough anxiety by itself, but having to go through one with no one there for you is miserable.
Thank you for your reply Shuhak. It brings to mind the me of many years ago. I had a gal whom I THOUGHT was a very good friend. My "best" friend in fact. At the time my stepdad had been in a terrible accident and so our family was going through a lot of emotion. She and I both were going to night school and I remember very vividly one evening after class told me she was going to pull back on the friendship because she wasn't up to going through the emotional upheaval with me. I was shocked. I don't remember her exact words but I got the message. I never spoke to her again. I felt betrayed. Would the Rosie of today have done that? Cut off all ties? Maybe not. What would YOU have done had you been confronted with that kind of info from a "friend"?
On one hand I can see how something like that may of upset her. Some people can't handle strong emotional situations. I have a very hard time myself as I'm a partial empath and I feel (take on) other people's emotions. Even so, I still try to be there for a friend.
I can see how something like that would have upset/angered you. It's easy to say that you'll always be there for a friend, but it can be hard to actually follow through on that promise when something horrific happens. That's when you really know who your real friends are. Unfortunately, it's also the worst time to find out that the one you considered to be a good friend is really just a fair weather friend. When someone is going through a strong emotional situation, they don't usually stop to think about how it affects others. It's hard enough just having to deal with it yourself. I realize that some people simply can't handle some situations. However, they should be upfront about it earlier in the relationship - not simply "back off" from it when something "pops up".
Nonetheless, I would have been extremely hurt (and very angry) had I been in that same situation. Yes, it probably would have ended that friendship - especially if they didn't try to mend it (and they'd better have some whopper reasons!!!). In my book, one shouldn't call themselves a good friend if they're not willing to back it up with actions. Otherwise they're simply acquaintances.
Not even one non-relative person is a friend Ele? I don't have a lot of them but I do have some on whom I can count on if needed and they can count on me. Is it by choice? Do you purposely stay beyond the line where acquaintance changes to friend? I think of myself as a loner but in fact I'm really not. Thank you for your reply! :)
If it affects my friend, it affects me. But the friend needs to let me know if something is going on - - I'm not a mind reader. (I've known people who have gotten very mad at me but they never had let me know what was going on until they over-the-top exploded at me, yelling at me that I didn't care.)
Shuhak 