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would you push a plant to grow? would you push the sun to rise? respect the dignity of divine timing and stand back
I think it depends on the definition of pushing.
I think pressing for excellence helps only if the child naturally and passionately loves whatever is being developed, and even then the pressure must remain within the bounds of developmentally appropriate levels.
If a child is gifted, the hours for practising talents must be balanced by ensuring opportunities for learning other life skills. For instance, a child that is academic may need to learn social, emotional and cooperation skills through working in teams to produce theatre or landscape gardens.
Pushing causes harm if it involves punishment for failing to achieve goals. It also does damage if motivated by the parents' egos or vicarious ambitions and if it runs aginst the child's inclinations.
Sensitivity is the key.
Pushing is different from expectation. Children perform to reach parental expectation. When they fail parents can see they expected too much. That is how to get results though. Let your children know what you expect; they will do their best to not let you down.
Being pushy is a different philosophy and not effective.
it probably depends on how theyre pushing them to excel
Define parental pushing.
That is something I do not do Uc. I do not set out parameters for you. You must do that for yourself. What does it mean to you? And is it good or not so hot for children to have parents who push them? Parents who reward them for getting A's and chastise them for getting less? You don't need me to tell you what you think of it do you? Thank you for your reply. If I tell you
what I think I won't know what you think. I already know what I think.
Thank you for your reply pearl! :)
Some parents reward their kids for getting A 's and chastise them for getting less. A parent's ambition should not be filtered through his/her children. Studying and doing homework should be encouraged. But insistence on excelling at everything all the time puts pressure on children and makes them feel they MUST live up to their parents' expectations or they will not be loved. I am for encouraging learning by taking children to the library..teaching them how to read at an early age. Being a good example of how to satisfy curiosity by reading. I am NOT in favor of making them feel guilty for not getting all A's or pressuring them to be "best" so they can get into a "good" university when they are of age. Children are not here to fulfill the unrealized dreams of their parents. They are just on loan to us and we need to help them feel secure and loved. The best way to "push" them is to be a good example/role model. Just my opinion hartfire. I am not fond of parents who ride their kids constantly. There was a lot of that going on in Little League. You should have heard
the parents insulting their kids for not doing well. Seriously. Some parents are lousy at parenting . Thank you for your reply and Happy Tuesday! :)
Guiding is not as invasive and scary as pushing. To be a firm guide is not to be a threatening or nagging one. I mean it is impossible to be perfect. We love our kids. You should see me. I am the worst hypocrite when it comes to my own daughter. She never listens to a word I say. It drives me crazy because I am always afraid for her. ???
LOL
She was born in 1972, but I still feel she needs my guidance more than she probably does need it and I cannot let go sometimes. Especially where health issues are concerned..
It can be either, depending on the child.
