It is better to give than to receive. You need to do things for people. Self-esteem, the ability to like yourself, only comes after you've done something that makes you likable. You can't bs yourself. No matter what you tell yourself or what slogans you memorize about how everyone is special, you'll think of yourself as special when you do something special. If you think you're special when you haven't done something special, you're not healthy and well-balanced; you're a narcissist, disconnected from reality. Educators who try to instill "self esteem" in children are teaching them to disconnect from reality.