People who investigate the investigators tell me that less than 20% of violent crimes are ever solved. That worries me because other investigators report that 12% of homicides in the US involve a cop on duty. That does not show up in the news because...  morePeople who investigate the investigators tell me that less than 20% of violent crimes are ever solved. That worries me because other investigators report that 12% of homicides in the US involve a cop on duty. That does not show up in the news because cops don't publish such statistics, for obvious reasons.  

At my age I don't even recognize the old one any more.

Maybe he wants to take advantage of Black Friday sales.

When I was a kid in school and they were teaching US history I thought "Ostend Manifesto" was Latin for "manifest destiny". https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ostend_Manifesto 

In fact I have been pondering that exact question ever since I was told that it is possible to hook a switch to a nerve and get instant orgasm any time. Nice idea, but where would you install the switch?

Go find a definition for “cult” and then we can talk about it.The word is derived from an ancient word for a plow. Related words are cultivate, culture, colon and colony. We know what those words mean, but not “cult”. It seems to b...  moreGo find a definition for “cult” and then we can talk about it.The word is derived from an ancient word for a plow. Related words are cultivate, culture, colon and colony. We know what those words mean, but not “cult”. It seems to be merely a general purpose insult for some church you don’t happen to like, especially one that has no political influence.  

You don't have to explain anything. I have always dealt with https://www.midwestrefineries.com/ You simply mail your gold to them with a note saying how you want to be paid. And that's it.It's only when you go to a pawnshop that you have to have a story.

Yeah, it's taking longer than I expected.

Photons explained: https://www.sci-phy.ca/papers/QuantumPhysics/Planck_Law/The_Birth_of_Quantum_Physics.html

FDR was so loved that they had to amend the constitution to get him out of office.

I dunno. At my age I can't catch them any more.My pickup line now is "You make me wish I were younger so I could go out with your mother."

Gender is the most important fact of life. You show a puppy or a kitten to little kids and the first thing they want to know is whether it's a boy or a girl. They don't know the difference, but they know it's important.There are only two genders: innies and outies.

How Americans see Canadians:

Miss me yet?

I have been spending all my time at quora.com and I finally gave up. The big adventures there are programming glitches and erratic moderation. For example you get a gig if you post the same answer when the same question is posted again. They call that "se...  moreI have been spending all my time at quora.com and I finally gave up. The big adventures there are programming glitches and erratic moderation. For example you get a gig if you post the same answer when the same question is posted again. They call that "self plagiarism". They don't tell you that, they just send a nastygram telling you to clean up your act. I put up with that disrespect for a while and then ... Well, here I am back again.  

At my age, if I am to have my way with a woman, she is going to have to do most or all of the work and it might take quite a long time. Like more than one night.

I can't even stand to talk about it.

I'm in 'em now. For six years I lived in my mother's basement, running up the stairs several times every day to take care of her. She died in 2014 and I moved to ground level, so I have had almost no exercise at all for the last five years. Suddenly I fee...  moreI'm in 'em now. For six years I lived in my mother's basement, running up the stairs several times every day to take care of her. She died in 2014 and I moved to ground level, so I have had almost no exercise at all for the last five years. Suddenly I feel very old.  

Boy, do I feel stupid. WTF are "stooks"?

What are you talking about?There are two things called marriage. One is a natural condition when a man and a woman DECIDE they are married. The other is a legal privilege granted by the government for the purpose of gaining jurisdiction over the children.

I mean "SAY WHAT, MAMA?

Whut?

The most reliable defense is to be someplace else when a situation develops.

No. No. One prong is wider than the other. You absolutely have to look and figure out which way it goes before you can plug it in.

There are people who get lost in thought because it's unfamiliar territory.

That doesn't even make sense!

We got a new computer for designing printed circuits. (This was before the PC was invented.) So the engineer sent his design off to the printed circuit place to make a board for him to test. The printed circuit guy called and asked "Hey, don't you want go...  moreWe got a new computer for designing printed circuits. (This was before the PC was invented.) So the engineer sent his design off to the printed circuit place to make a board for him to test. The printed circuit guy called and asked "Hey, don't you want gold plated fingers on the edge of this card?" Since it was only a test, the engineer didn't want to pay for gold so he told him no. When the board was delivered, you guessed it, no fingers at all. He had to solder wires to it to get it connected.So I took one of those boards, printed a bunch of human fingers on the lettering machine, and stuck them to the board. Then I stuck that to a sign saying:TO ERR IS HUMANBUT TO REALLY MAKE A MESSYOU NEED A COMPUTER  less

"Be yourself" actually means "Be perfect and act like it comes naturally."

Here are 349,000 counterexamples:https://www.google.com/search?tbm=vid&q=bear+chases+bicycle

I don't know. I never tried. I'm fairly sure I never will. Peeing puts a definite time limit on the exercise.

In my part of the country it's "six of one, half a dozen of the other".

So my buddy and I went fishing. He grabbed a pack of hot dogs along the way so we could have something to eat. (We were pretty lousy at fishing.)So we cook these things and right away we know something is wrong. He reads the ingredients on the label."BEEF...  moreSo my buddy and I went fishing. He grabbed a pack of hot dogs along the way so we could have something to eat. (We were pretty lousy at fishing.)So we cook these things and right away we know something is wrong. He reads the ingredients on the label."BEEF LIPS!" The first ingredient in the list was "beef lips". My buddy was quite the actor. He spent about a half hour going "BEEF LIPS" as if that were just too much to take. Well, it was. We tried those hot dogs for bait and the fish wouldn't bite. We tied a string to a piece and dangled it in front of a crawdad. The crawdad took, but wouldn't hang on long. So while he held the string, I slipped a frying pan under the crawdad. We got a few crawdads, cut their tails off and boiled them. I didn't know you're supposed to wait until they lose all the sand they carry. But they were actually fairly tasty after spitting out the sand.  less

Most hot dogs are made from the very cheapest meat products. They taste like meat flavored Jello.

What's a metaphor? It's for cows!

Yes. Even though in most cases the best thing a politician can do is nothing, and they usually should have done it a lot sooner.

I give up … How?

Pushing up flowers.

Favorite:"Pot o' beans"1 lb black eye peas1/2 lb salt pork (fatback)1 onion, choppedsaltwater to cover.Gag: menudoA Mexican tradition using pig fat as the main ingredient.

I'm older than transistors. I'm older than television. I'm older than dirt.

You would not believe what a chore it was to compose that with Windows 10. This is a borrowed computer and I spend almost half my time wondering "WTF is this thing doing?" Also you can't have a printer because the system won't load a non-Microsoft driver.

Nor·dic

/ˈnôrdik/

...  moreNor·dic

/ˈnôrdik/

adjective
adjective: Nordic




1.


relating to Scandinavia, Finland, Iceland, and the Faroe Islands.
"the Nordic countries"






relating to or denoting a physical type of northern European peoples characterized by tall stature, a bony frame, light coloring, and a dolichocephalic head.
"the Nordic races"






Skiing
relating to or denoting the disciplines of cross-country skiing or ski jumping.
"Jim competes as a veteran in Nordic events in Scotland"











noun
noun: Nordic; plural noun: Nordics




1.


a native of Scandinavia, Finland, or Iceland.
"the Nordics might share a common history, speak similar languages, enjoy the same culture"








FINLAND! That was the first thing I thought of! And that is related to why fire trucks are red!“Because they have eight wheels and four people on them, and four plus eight makes twelve, and there are twelve inches in a foot, and one foot is a ruler, and Queen Elizabeth was a ruler, and Queen Elizabeth was also a ship, and...    less

I live in Arizona specifically so I don't have to endure that bullsnot.

My earliest memory of a sandwich was when my brother got slices of bread from different loaves and he was whining about having to make a sandwich with two slices of bread that didn't fit.That boy never was quite right.