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Slartibartfast

I\'m not a chatroom type

Mugger Stats

  • Member Type: Mugger
  • Profile Views: 4,283 views
  • Friends: 20 friends
  • Last Update: Sat at 9:55 PM
  • Joined: December 23, 2015

Mugger Details

  • Screen Name* Slartibartfast
  • Gender* Male
  • Where do you live? Adelaide, Australia
  • About Me: Married fo­r 30 years­, two grow­n-up kids,­ three gra­ndchildren­.
    Incorrigib­le smartas­s, musicia­n, consult­ant with O­rigin Ener­gy, profes­sional ump­ire (crick­et and Aus­tralian fo­otball).
    I have a p­enchant fo­r lame Dad­ jokes and­ REALLY ba­d puns.
  • Activity
    • About
    • Discussions (517)
    • Replies (9016)
    • Polls (3)
    • Friends (20)
    • Joined Groups (8)
    • Comment Wall
    • Gifts (1)
    More +
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  • Slartibartfast
    Slartibartfast replied to Trump will be removed, and Pence will too. Welcome President Pelosi:
    Pence hasn't done anything to warrant impeachment. He pretty much hasn't done anything at all.
    • Sat at 9:55 PM
  • Slartibartfast
    Slartibartfast replied to Do you like to push it or pull it? :
    Beat me to it.
    • Sat at 9:51 PM
  • Slartibartfast
    Slartibartfast replied to Which side are you on?:
    On the left.
    • Sat at 9:47 PM
  • Slartibartfast
    Slartibartfast replied to I think therefore I ___?:
    Immanuel Kant was a real pissant who was very rarely stableHeidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar who could drink you under the tableDavid Hume could out-consume Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel And Wittgenstein was a beery swine who was just as sloshed as Schleg...  moreImmanuel Kant was a real pissant who was very rarely stableHeidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar who could drink you under the tableDavid Hume could out-consume Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel And Wittgenstein was a beery swine who was just as sloshed as Schlegel There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach you 'bout the raising of the wristSocrates himself was permanently pissedJohn Stuart Mill, of his own free will, on half a pint of shandy was particularly illPlato, they say, could stick it away, half a crate of whisky every dayAristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle, Hobbes was fond of his dramAnd René Déscartes was a drunken fart, I drink, therefore I amYes Socrates himself is particularly missedA lovely little thinker but a bugger when he's pissed  less
    • Sat at 9:34 PM
  • Slartibartfast
    Slartibartfast replied to What is your favoritist kind of candy?:
    Eye candy.
    • Sat at 9:26 PM
  • Slartibartfast
    Slartibartfast replied to Isn't it sad how something beautiful like banging is tied to something as disgusting as procreation? :
    Babies are adorable, and the most blissful expression I have ever seen on the face of any human being ever was that on my wife's the very first time each of our children was laid in her arms. That's what an angel looks like.I've always been attracted to t...  moreBabies are adorable, and the most blissful expression I have ever seen on the face of any human being ever was that on my wife's the very first time each of our children was laid in her arms. That's what an angel looks like.I've always been attracted to the "baby factory" type of woman - wide hips and full breasts. More cushion for the pushin'. So sue me.  
    • Sat at 9:24 PM
  • Slartibartfast
    Slartibartfast replied to Which did you have more of when you were a kid? :
    I'm a boy. My sister got the Barbies. Slinkies also never lasted long.I had a collection of toy cars and Lego.
    • Sat at 9:20 PM
  • Slartibartfast
    Slartibartfast replied to Would you kiss a Jew? :
    Yes, but no tongue. My wife would get jealous.
    • Sat at 9:17 PM
  • Slartibartfast
    Slartibartfast replied to Wanna play a game?:
    Pawn to king four. Your move.
    • Sat at 9:15 PM
  • Slartibartfast
    Slartibartfast replied to You want to become a farmer, but can only grow one thing. What would it be?:
    Bananas. You can never have too many bananas.
    • Sat at 9:15 PM
  • Slartibartfast
    Slartibartfast replied to I’ve been trying out an app that changes my hair colour. Why does having dark hair make my nose look huge? WHY? :
    It's not the colour. You have a big nose.
    • Sat at 9:11 PM
  • Slartibartfast
    Slartibartfast replied to Men...get real. Who smells better? Women using deodorant or those who don't? Pheremones don't lie. Women...deal with it.:
    Those who don't - if they shower regularly. Stale pheromones are gross.
    • Sat at 9:07 PM
  • Slartibartfast
    Slartibartfast replied to Did you know Lev Parnas is a Soviet citizen?:
    Was. The Soviet Union ceased to exist in 1991, ergo there are no Soviet citizens anymore. Putin himself was a high ranking officer in the KGB. Parnas is now a citizen of Ukraine.
    • Sat at 9:05 PM
  • Slartibartfast
    Slartibartfast replied to Wine, dark chocolate almonds or One handed typing? :
    Keep your wine, I'll have a beer.The late Chrissie Amphlett was feminism's answer to Angus Young. Vale.
    • Sat at 9:00 PM
  • Slartibartfast
    Slartibartfast replied to Trump WILL be removed, chapter 3:
    One vote in Wyoming is worth more than seven votes in California. That's pretty much a gerrymander by definition.Then there's the ridiculous "winner takes all" system of appointing EC delegates. I've explained this before, but at the risk of getting borin...  moreOne vote in Wyoming is worth more than seven votes in California. That's pretty much a gerrymander by definition.Then there's the ridiculous "winner takes all" system of appointing EC delegates. I've explained this before, but at the risk of getting boring, I'll do so again - the prime example is Florida, 2000. Bush2 won it by a wasp's nipple (supposedly). A sane system sends 15 Republican and 14 Democrat electors to the College, that's how the State voted. Bush got all 29.  
    • Sat at 8:05 PM
  • Slartibartfast
    Slartibartfast replied to Can Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison play the violin? ScoMo fiddles while home burns.:
    27 human deaths and over 2000 homes destroyed.
    • Sat at 7:46 PM
  • Slartibartfast
    Slartibartfast replied to Does Randy D celebrate Mexican holidays?:
    Not in Australia. The waiter gives you a bill. You pay with a cheque (or a credit card, or cash).
    • Sat at 7:23 PM
  • Slartibartfast
    Slartibartfast replied to Does Randy D celebrate Mexican holidays?:
    "Bill, mate"? Doesn't work. A cheque is what you PAY it with (if the restaurant accepts them).
    • Fri at 7:15 PM
  • Slartibartfast
    Slartibartfast replied to LEV PARNAS IS THE ENTIRE SMOKING GUN FOR THE WHOLE UKRAINE FIASCO. POMPEO, BARR, YOU NAME IT, HE GAVE IT.:
    This is what happens when you hire criminals, then fire them indiscriminately - it bites you on the a$$.
    • Thu at 5:50 PM
  • Slartibartfast
    Slartibartfast replied to Poetry is art. Can you think of some good two line poetry stuff? :
    I can't top Lennon:"And in the end, the love you takeIs equal to the love you make"- The Beatles, The End
    • Thu at 5:45 PM
  • Slartibartfast
    Slartibartfast replied to Trump WILL be removed, chapter 3:
    For tge good of the Free World, Trumposaurus Rex MUST be removed from office - or it gives the green light to every subsequent administration (regardless of Party) to bribe, extort and blackmail for its own political purposes, citing this as precedent.
    • Thu at 5:34 PM
  • Slartibartfast
    Slartibartfast replied to Did you KNOW Queen Elizabeth still drives? I cannot believe THE QUEEN DRIVES ANYTHING. But she does. A Black Range Rover. She is 93 !!!!:
    Karl Benz was building horseless carriages while Ford was still in diapers.
    • Thu at 3:22 PM
  • Slartibartfast
    Slartibartfast replied to Did you KNOW Queen Elizabeth still drives? I cannot believe THE QUEEN DRIVES ANYTHING. But she does. A Black Range Rover. She is 93 !!!!:
    When asked for ID, Her Majesty just pulls out a fiver.
    • Wed at 8:42 PM
  • Slartibartfast
    Slartibartfast replied to Did you KNOW Queen Elizabeth still drives? I cannot believe THE QUEEN DRIVES ANYTHING. But she does. A Black Range Rover. She is 93 !!!!:
    Nope, it's you Yanks that drive on the wrong side. Left is right.
    • Wed at 7:12 PM
  • Slartibartfast
    Slartibartfast replied to Did you KNOW Queen Elizabeth still drives? I cannot believe THE QUEEN DRIVES ANYTHING. But she does. A Black Range Rover. She is 93 !!!!:
    Supporting British industry, it's part of her job.
    • Wed at 7:11 PM
  • Slartibartfast
    Slartibartfast replied to Did you KNOW Queen Elizabeth still drives? I cannot believe THE QUEEN DRIVES ANYTHING. But she does. A Black Range Rover. She is 93 !!!!:
    Minor be damned, she could tear down and rebuild a truck engine. She was a mechanic in the ATS (Auxiliary Territorial Service).
    • Wed at 7:09 PM
  • Slartibartfast
    Slartibartfast replied to In your opinion, what are some of the worst things a person can do with a drone, some of the worst ways it can be used?:
    Strapping a camera to it and overflying a nudist club.
    • Wed at 7:03 PM
  • Slartibartfast
    Slartibartfast replied to In your OWN words...Can you describe the state of being in a vacuum? :
    Cramped
    • Wed at 6:55 PM
  • Slartibartfast
    Slartibartfast replied to I overcome my grief by living my live as usual - minus my husband, of course. Do you support me in this?:
    Absolutely. It's exactly what he wants for you, I'm sure of it.
    • Wed at 6:52 PM
  • Slartibartfast
    Slartibartfast replied to There are allegedly lots of holy places in the world..the VATICAN allegedly being one. What about a country/city? Do you live in one?:
    Adelaide is known as "The city of Churches" for a reason. Even in the outer suburbs - there's a big Sikh temple a stone's throw from my home.
    • Wed at 4:43 PM
  • Slartibartfast
    Slartibartfast replied to There are things that matter and things that don't. Are there many things that matter to you or only a few? Wouldja share them with us?:
    The long-haired boffins are saying that this is the new "normal", but our Prime Monster couldn't give a rat's a$$. Uncle Rupert and the coal industry are keeping him in his job, he can't risk getting them offside.
    • Wed at 4:36 PM
  • Slartibartfast
    Slartibartfast replied to Is being a male named SHIRLEY better or worse than being a boy named SUE? According to you?:
    It's a surname. The Brits have long held a habit of giving a son the mother's maiden surname as one of his given names, it seems that one stuck.
    • Wed at 4:27 PM
  • Slartibartfast
    Slartibartfast replied to There are things that matter and things that don't. Are there many things that matter to you or only a few? Wouldja share them with us?:
    Not too bad - my asthmatic daughter only had to stay indoors twice, when the wind brought smoke from the Yorke Peninsula and Kangaroo Island fires over the suburbs of Adelaide. We're a fair distance from any heavily forested areas, and the nearest are to ...  moreNot too bad - my asthmatic daughter only had to stay indoors twice, when the wind brought smoke from the Yorke Peninsula and Kangaroo Island fires over the suburbs of Adelaide. We're a fair distance from any heavily forested areas, and the nearest are to the east - the prevailing wind at this time of year carried that smoke away from us.  
    • Wed at 5:04 AM
  • Slartibartfast
    Slartibartfast replied to Is being a male named SHIRLEY better or worse than being a boy named SUE? According to you?:
    Late lead singer of Australian glam-rock band Skyhooks. His real name is Graham, but he went by the professional name "Shirley" throughout his career.
    • Wed at 4:59 AM
  • Slartibartfast
    Slartibartfast replied to There are things that matter and things that don't. Are there many things that matter to you or only a few? Wouldja share them with us?:
    Couldn't resist the joke. Actually what really matters is the people I care about.As for Melbourne, I really don't know. Bushfires are part of every Australian summer but they've never, ever been like this.
    • Wed at 4:56 AM
  • Slartibartfast
    Slartibartfast replied to Anyome else think the spat between Bernie and Elizabeth is just to hopefully get people to watch the Dem debate? Ratings been dropping.:
    Nobody cares, the electorate has already made up its collective mind. They're either FOR His Royal Orangeness or AGAINST him - and if they're against, it doesnt matter who's in the blue corner. They'd vote for a broken box full of rotten fruit in a suit, ...  moreNobody cares, the electorate has already made up its collective mind. They're either FOR His Royal Orangeness or AGAINST him - and if they're against, it doesnt matter who's in the blue corner. They'd vote for a broken box full of rotten fruit in a suit, if it was against Trump.  
    • Wed at 3:34 AM
  • Slartibartfast
    Slartibartfast replied to Are ALL "ISTS" deplorable? Racist sexist narcissist fascist etcetera etcetera etcetera? Any "ist" that's nifty? Are YOU an "ist"?:
    Christian Socialist and proud of it.
    • Wed at 3:28 AM
  • Slartibartfast
    Slartibartfast replied to He said She said. Allegedly during a private 2018 meeting Bernie told Liz "a woman can't win". Which doth thee believe? The he/she? Why?:
    Sexist or not, given what Hillary was up against, and STILL managed to lose, he's probably right. At least he doesn't suggest that it's okay to grab women by the p*ssy, which His Royal Orangeness beyond a shadow of doubt DID say.
    • Wed at 3:26 AM
  • Slartibartfast
    Slartibartfast replied to There are things that matter and things that don't. Are there many things that matter to you or only a few? Wouldja share them with us?:
    You matter. Unless you multiplied by the square of the speed of light, then you energy.
    • Wed at 3:22 AM
  • Slartibartfast
    Slartibartfast replied to Is being a male named SHIRLEY better or worse than being a boy named SUE? According to you?:
    Not as bad.
    • Wed at 3:20 AM
  • Slartibartfast
    Slartibartfast replied to When you were growing up, did your mother call you or refer to you as her “baby” only until your next sibling was born? ~:
    I was only sixteen months old, so I don't remember. I can't ask her she passed away 5 years ago.
    • Tue at 11:57 PM
  • Slartibartfast
    Slartibartfast replied to Have you seen anything cuter than this today?:
    Wolves kill out of necessity, to eat. Only humans murder for the sheer hell of it.
    • Tue at 11:23 PM
  • Slartibartfast
    Slartibartfast replied to Have you seen anything cuter than this today?:
    I bet there's mayo on those burgers ...
    • Tue at 11:22 PM
  • Slartibartfast
    Slartibartfast replied to What a relief for gun people. EIGHT people in Colorado Springs were STABBED on a stabbing spree. All injured. No motive. Stabbing/gunning?:
    Stabbed. The attacker has to get close, it's possible to defend yourself. You can't stop a shooter a hundred yards or more away.
    • Tue at 3:09 AM
  • Slartibartfast
    Slartibartfast replied to Has your entire family gotten flu shots for this year? :
    We've had every shot except that one. Flu shots aren't broad spectrum, they can only protect against one or very few specific strains - they're only guessing which bug will bite you. If and when they come up with one that protects against all strains of f...  moreWe've had every shot except that one. Flu shots aren't broad spectrum, they can only protect against one or very few specific strains - they're only guessing which bug will bite you. If and when they come up with one that protects against all strains of flu, I'll get it.  
    • Tue at 3:06 AM
  • Slartibartfast
    Slartibartfast started a discussion:
    Have you seen anything cuter than this today?
    • Tue at 3:02 AM
  • Slartibartfast
    Slartibartfast replied to Which is more important pleasing yourself or pleasing your companion?:
    Love is a condition in which the beloved's happiness is essential to your own. If it's not mutual, get outta there.
    • Mon at 11:29 PM
  • Slartibartfast
    Slartibartfast replied to Are you crazy...or just out of your mind?:
    You're crazy and I'm outta my mind ...
    • Mon at 11:25 PM
  • Slartibartfast
    Slartibartfast replied to What is something you can schmear?:
    Never on it's own, you schmear it on with plenty of butter
    • Mon at 11:21 PM
  • Slartibartfast
    Slartibartfast replied to I haven't heard this one yet. I am at work. Is it any good? :
    The point is that she doesn't care enough about her art to study any history.
    • Mon at 11:10 PM
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  • Screen Name* Slartibartfast
  • Gender* Male
  • Where do you live? Adelaide, Australia
  • About Me: Married fo­r 30 years­, two grow­n-up kids,­ three gra­ndchildren­.
    Incorrigib­le smartas­s, musicia­n, consult­ant with O­rigin Ener­gy, profes­sional ump­ire (crick­et and Aus­tralian fo­otball).
    I have a p­enchant fo­r lame Dad­ jokes and­ REALLY ba­d puns.

  • Have you seen anything cuter than this today?

    Last post by Randy D - Wed at 12:26 AM
    99 views 5 likes
    10

  • Can Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison play the violin? ScoMo fiddles while home burns.

    Last post by SpunkySenior - Sat at 8:44 PM
    50 views 0 likes
    6

  • Do felines have a positive attitude to the loss of electrons?

    Last post by B.H.Wilson - January 1
    52 views 2 likes
    5

  • Does anybody love anybody anyway?

    Last post by bookworm - December 30, 2019
    114 views 2 likes
    6

  • What's the hardest thing to say?

    1. I'm sorry.2. I don't love you.3. Worcestershire.
    Last post by Nanoose - December 26, 2019
    96 views 3 likes
    5

  • Is there a more wonderful time of the year?

    Last post by Slartibartfast - December 24, 2019
    60 views 0 likes
    0

  • Okay, the BBQ grill has cooled and the potato salad is eaten. Can I have a nap now?

    Last post by Slartibartfast - December 24, 2019
    51 views 0 likes
    0

  • Why can't women apply mascara with their mouths closed?

    Last post by Slartibartfast - December 24, 2019
    59 views 1 like
    0

  • Which of the stages are you at?

    1. You believe in Santa Claus.2. You don't believe in Santa Clau...  more1. You believe in Santa Claus.2. You don't believe in Santa Claus. 3. You are Santa Claus. 4. You look like Santa Claus.  
    Last post by WelbyQuentin - December 25, 2019
    93 views 2 likes
    4

  • Is a prosthetic leg an appropriate Christmas gift?

    Not as the main present, just a stocking filler.
    Last post by Nice Jugs - December 24, 2019
    109 views 2 likes
    5

  • What is something that everybody looks stupid doing?

    Keep it clean, folks.
    Last post by CosmicWunderkind - December 25, 2019
    101 views 3 likes
    8

  • Why didn't Noah swat both mosquitoes when he had the chance?

    Last post by Nice Jugs - December 25, 2019
    155 views 2 likes
    11

  • Did Noah have woodpeckers on the ark? If so, where did he keep them?

    Last post by Randy D - December 24, 2019
    44 views 1 like
    1

  • If you were a genie and someone rubbed your lamp, and wished that you would not grant this wish, what would you do?

    Last post by Element 99 - December 24, 2019
    61 views 1 like
    3

  • If androids dream of electric sheep, what do iPhones dream of?

    Last post by Livvie - December 24, 2019
    68 views 2 likes
    2

  • What do you want for Christmas?

    Last post by franc533 - December 16, 2019
    210 views 2 likes
    18

  • is it only at this time of year that the word "Gloria" has 18 syllables?

    Last post by WelbyQuentin - December 27, 2019
    97 views 1 like
    5

  • Do you wanna build a snowman?

    Frozen II hits the cinemas next week. I'm tempted to take my gra...  moreFrozen II hits the cinemas next week. I'm tempted to take my grandson - is two too young?  
    Last post by AspieGirl88 - November 24, 2019
    273 views 4 likes
    22

  • Does your significant other snore? If so, does it bother you?

    I do not EITHER snore! I purr!
    Last post by Randy D - November 18, 2019
    214 views 3 likes
    16

  • Is it okay to put your trash in someone else's bin if yours is full?

    Last post by Southpaw - November 16, 2019
    131 views 3 likes
    8

  • Is it still okay to tell blonde jokes?

    Last post by Slartibartfast - December 6, 2019
    196 views 5 likes
    21

  • Would you let a stranger know his fly was/flies were undone? (For those on both sides of the pond).

    Last post by bookworm - November 16, 2019
    84 views 1 like
    4

  • Horse meat - yes or no?

    Last post by SavvyAnsley - November 17, 2019
    111 views 1 like
    6

  • Who was the last person you flipped the bird to, and why?

    Last post by SpunkySenior - November 16, 2019
    112 views 2 likes
    4

  • Is American spelling simply part of the Revolution?

    UK: HonourUS: HonorUK: ColourUS: ColorUK: ValourUS: Valor UK: Wh...  moreUK: HonourUS: HonorUK: ColourUS: ColorUK: ValourUS: Valor UK: What are you doing?US: Getting rid of u.  
    Last post by Element 99 - November 8, 2019
    307 views 3 likes
    20

  • Governing by tantrum. Did His Royal Orangeness hold his breath until Kentucky turned blue?

    Last post by my2cents - November 10, 2019
    98 views 1 like
    4

  • Trump visits World Series, gets booed. Trump visits UFC fight, gets booed. Trump visits KY, the Dem candidate beats the Rep incumbent.

    Will the GOP decide that he's more a liability than an asset and boot him?
    Last post by my2cents - November 11, 2019
    120 views 1 like
    5

  • Can fat people go skinny dipping?

    Last post by Element 99 - October 31, 2019
    103 views 4 likes
    6

  • How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?

    Last post by Nice Jugs - October 26, 2019
    248 views 5 likes
    21

  • If a someone makes a sammich in a forest and there's no Randy D to eat it, it it okay to put mayo on it?

    Last post by Element 99 - October 24, 2019
    171 views 2 likes
    9

  • Why is Johnny "short for" John when it's actually longer?

    Last post by Thriftymaid - October 24, 2019
    169 views 2 likes
    2

  • Do you need a silencer if you're going to shoot a mime?

    Last post by B.H.Wilson - October 24, 2019
    107 views 2 likes
    3

  • How many whistles need to be blown for His Royal Orangeness to be impeached? For Bill Clinton it was only one ...

    Last post by Don Barzini - October 11, 2019
    113 views 0 likes
    3

  • Why are there flotation devices under airplane seats instead of parachutes?

    Last post by Thriftymaid - October 7, 2019
    390 views 4 likes
    21

  • The Democratic Party's emblem is a donkey. Should the GOP change theirs to a horse's a$$?

    To match their President.
    Last post by B.H.Wilson - October 6, 2019
    117 views 0 likes
    2

  • This Gen X-er is totes having a millenial moment. I literally can't even right now. Are you with me?

    Last post by Nevan B - October 5, 2019
    223 views 3 likes
    12

  • Why do people say they 'slept like a baby', when babies wake up screaming every few hours?

    Last post by Merlin - September 29, 2019
    100 views 1 like
    3

  • When is a sky comma a hyphen?

    Last post by Slartibartfast - September 28, 2019
    111 views 2 likes
    5

  • How important does someone have to be before they can be considered assassinated instead of murdered?

    Last post by Element 99 - September 28, 2019
    144 views 2 likes
    3

  • What does cheese say when it gets its picture taken?

    Last post by Slartibartfast - September 27, 2019
    153 views 4 likes
    10

  • "Do not use if seal is broken". So how am I supposed to open and use it?

    Last post by Merlin - September 26, 2019
    154 views 3 likes
    4

  • Why do you need an apppointment to see a psychic?

    Last post by Thriftymaid - September 26, 2019
    143 views 1 like
    2

  • They make olive oil by crushing olives. How do they make baby oil?

    Last post by Thriftymaid - September 26, 2019
    161 views 2 likes
    9

  • I got hit by a rhythm stick! Am I entitled to claim for personal IanDury?

    Last post by Slartibartfast - September 24, 2019
    108 views 1 like
    4

  • If swimming is good for keeping in shape, why are whales so fat?

    Last post by I LOVE LEV PARNAS - September 21, 2019
    176 views 1 like
    3

  • Yarrr. Be ye talkin' like a pirate today, matey?

    Last post by B.H.Wilson - September 20, 2019
    137 views 0 likes
    2

  • If Superman is so smart, why does he wear his underwear on the outside of his clothes?

    Last post by Slartibartfast - September 19, 2019
    100 views 0 likes
    0

  • Why do they call it "quicksand" when it sucks you down so slowly?

    Last post by B.H.Wilson - September 19, 2019
    90 views 0 likes
    2

  • Why do we refer to a "pair of pants" when it's only one article of clothing?

    Last post by Nice Jugs - September 18, 2019
    160 views 5 likes
    9

  • Why are they called "training bras"? What can you teach them?

    Last post by Slartibartfast - September 17, 2019
    78 views 0 likes
    0
Previous
Next
  • Pence hasn't done anything to warrant impeachment. He pretty muc...  morePence hasn't done anything to warrant impeachment. He pretty much hasn't done anything at all.  
    in Trump will be removed, and Pence will too. Welcome President Pelosi January 18, 2020 9:55 PM MST 0
  • Beat me to it.
    in Do you like to push it or pull it? January 18, 2020 9:51 PM MST 1
  • On the left.
    in Which side are you on? January 18, 2020 9:47 PM MST 3
  • Immanuel Kant was a real pissant who was very rarely stableHeide...  moreImmanuel Kant was a real pissant who was very rarely stableHeidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar who could drink you under the tableDavid Hume could out-consume Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel And Wittgenstein was a beery swine who was just as sloshed as Schlegel There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach you 'bout the raising of the wristSocrates himself was permanently pissedJohn Stuart Mill, of his own free will, on half a pint of shandy was particularly illPlato, they say, could stick it away, half a crate of whisky every dayAristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle, Hobbes was fond of his dramAnd René Déscartes was a drunken fart, I drink, therefore I amYes Socrates himself is particularly missedA lovely little thinker but a bugger when he's pissed  less
    in I think therefore I ___? January 18, 2020 9:34 PM MST 1
  • Eye candy.
    in What is your favoritist kind of candy? January 18, 2020 9:26 PM MST 1
  • Babies are adorable, and the most blissful expression I have eve...  moreBabies are adorable, and the most blissful expression I have ever seen on the face of any human being ever was that on my wife's the very first time each of our children was laid in her arms. That's what an angel looks like.I've always been attracted to the "baby factory" type of woman - wide hips and full breasts. More cushion for the pushin'. So sue me.  
    in Isn't it sad how something beautiful like banging is tied to something as disgusting as procreation? January 18, 2020 9:24 PM MST 0
  • I'm a boy. My sister got the Barbies. Slinkies also never lasted...  moreI'm a boy. My sister got the Barbies. Slinkies also never lasted long.I had a collection of toy cars and Lego.  
    in Which did you have more of when you were a kid? January 18, 2020 9:20 PM MST 0
  • Yes, but no tongue. My wife would get jealous.
    in Would you kiss a Jew? January 18, 2020 9:17 PM MST 1
  • Pawn to king four. Your move.
    in Wanna play a game? January 18, 2020 9:15 PM MST 0
  • Bananas. You can never have too many bananas.
    in You want to become a farmer, but can only grow one thing. What would it be? January 18, 2020 9:15 PM MST 1
  • It's not the colour. You have a big nose.
    in I’ve been trying out an app that changes my hair colour. Why does having dark hair make my nose look huge? WHY? January 18, 2020 9:11 PM MST 0
  • Those who don't - if they shower regularly. Stale pheromones are gross.
    in Men...get real. Who smells better? Women using deodorant or those who don't? Pheremones don't lie. Women...deal with it. January 18, 2020 9:07 PM MST 3
  • Was. The Soviet Union ceased to exist in 1991, ergo there are no...  moreWas. The Soviet Union ceased to exist in 1991, ergo there are no Soviet citizens anymore. Putin himself was a high ranking officer in the KGB. Parnas is now a citizen of Ukraine.  
    in Did you know Lev Parnas is a Soviet citizen? January 18, 2020 9:05 PM MST 1
  • Keep your wine, I'll have a beer.The late Chrissie Amphlett was ...  moreKeep your wine, I'll have a beer.The late Chrissie Amphlett was feminism's answer to Angus Young. Vale.  
    in Wine, dark chocolate almonds or One handed typing? January 18, 2020 9:00 PM MST 0
  • One vote in Wyoming is worth more than seven votes in California...  moreOne vote in Wyoming is worth more than seven votes in California. That's pretty much a gerrymander by definition.Then there's the ridiculous "winner takes all" system of appointing EC delegates. I've explained this before, but at the risk of getting boring, I'll do so again - the prime example is Florida, 2000. Bush2 won it by a wasp's nipple (supposedly). A sane system sends 15 Republican and 14 Democrat electors to the College, that's how the State voted. Bush got all 29.  
    in Trump WILL be removed, chapter 3 January 18, 2020 8:05 PM MST 0
  • 27 human deaths and over 2000 homes destroyed.
    in Can Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison play the violin? ScoMo fiddles while home burns. January 18, 2020 7:46 PM MST 1
  • Not in Australia. The waiter gives you a bill. You pay with a ch...  moreNot in Australia. The waiter gives you a bill. You pay with a cheque (or a credit card, or cash).  
    in Does Randy D celebrate Mexican holidays? January 18, 2020 7:23 PM MST 1
  • "Bill, mate"? Doesn't work. A cheque is what you PAY it with (if...  more"Bill, mate"? Doesn't work. A cheque is what you PAY it with (if the restaurant accepts them).  
    in Does Randy D celebrate Mexican holidays? January 17, 2020 7:15 PM MST 1
  • This is what happens when you hire criminals, then fire them ind...  moreThis is what happens when you hire criminals, then fire them indiscriminately - it bites you on the a$$.  
    in LEV PARNAS IS THE ENTIRE SMOKING GUN FOR THE WHOLE UKRAINE FIASCO. POMPEO, BARR, YOU NAME IT, HE GAVE IT. January 16, 2020 5:50 PM MST 1
  • I can't top Lennon:"And in the end, the love you takeIs equal to...  moreI can't top Lennon:"And in the end, the love you takeIs equal to the love you make"- The Beatles, The End  
    in Poetry is art. Can you think of some good two line poetry stuff? January 16, 2020 5:45 PM MST 1
  • For tge good of the Free World, Trumposaurus Rex MUST be removed...  moreFor tge good of the Free World, Trumposaurus Rex MUST be removed from office - or it gives the green light to every subsequent administration (regardless of Party) to bribe, extort and blackmail for its own political purposes, citing this as precedent.  
    in Trump WILL be removed, chapter 3 January 16, 2020 5:34 PM MST 3
  • Karl Benz was building horseless carriages while Ford was still ...  moreKarl Benz was building horseless carriages while Ford was still in diapers.  
    in Did you KNOW Queen Elizabeth still drives? I cannot believe THE QUEEN DRIVES ANYTHING. But she does. A Black Range Rover. She is 93 !!!! January 16, 2020 3:22 PM MST 0
  • When asked for ID, Her Majesty just pulls out a fiver.
    in Did you KNOW Queen Elizabeth still drives? I cannot believe THE QUEEN DRIVES ANYTHING. But she does. A Black Range Rover. She is 93 !!!! January 15, 2020 8:42 PM MST 1
  • Nope, it's you Yanks that drive on the wrong side. Left is right.
    in Did you KNOW Queen Elizabeth still drives? I cannot believe THE QUEEN DRIVES ANYTHING. But she does. A Black Range Rover. She is 93 !!!! January 15, 2020 7:12 PM MST 2
  • Supporting British industry, it's part of her job.
    in Did you KNOW Queen Elizabeth still drives? I cannot believe THE QUEEN DRIVES ANYTHING. But she does. A Black Range Rover. She is 93 !!!! January 15, 2020 7:11 PM MST 2
  • Minor be damned, she could tear down and rebuild a truck engine....  moreMinor be damned, she could tear down and rebuild a truck engine. She was a mechanic in the ATS (Auxiliary Territorial Service).  
    in Did you KNOW Queen Elizabeth still drives? I cannot believe THE QUEEN DRIVES ANYTHING. But she does. A Black Range Rover. She is 93 !!!! January 15, 2020 7:09 PM MST 1
  • Strapping a camera to it and overflying a nudist club.
    in In your opinion, what are some of the worst things a person can do with a drone, some of the worst ways it can be used? January 15, 2020 7:03 PM MST 2
  • Cramped
    in In your OWN words...Can you describe the state of being in a vacuum? January 15, 2020 6:55 PM MST 1
  • Absolutely. It's exactly what he wants for you, I'm sure of it.
    in I overcome my grief by living my live as usual - minus my husband, of course. Do you support me in this? January 15, 2020 6:52 PM MST 1
  • Adelaide is known as "The city of Churches" for a reason. Even i...  moreAdelaide is known as "The city of Churches" for a reason. Even in the outer suburbs - there's a big Sikh temple a stone's throw from my home.  
    in There are allegedly lots of holy places in the world..the VATICAN allegedly being one. What about a country/city? Do you live in one? January 15, 2020 4:43 PM MST 1
  • The long-haired boffins are saying that this is the new "normal"...  moreThe long-haired boffins are saying that this is the new "normal", but our Prime Monster couldn't give a rat's a$$. Uncle Rupert and the coal industry are keeping him in his job, he can't risk getting them offside.  
    in There are things that matter and things that don't. Are there many things that matter to you or only a few? Wouldja share them with us? January 15, 2020 4:36 PM MST 0
    This post was edited by Slartibartfast at January 15, 2020 4:36 PM MST
  • It's a surname. The Brits have long held a habit of giving a son...  moreIt's a surname. The Brits have long held a habit of giving a son the mother's maiden surname as one of his given names, it seems that one stuck.  
    in Is being a male named SHIRLEY better or worse than being a boy named SUE? According to you? January 15, 2020 4:27 PM MST 0
  • Not too bad - my asthmatic daughter only had to stay indoors twi...  moreNot too bad - my asthmatic daughter only had to stay indoors twice, when the wind brought smoke from the Yorke Peninsula and Kangaroo Island fires over the suburbs of Adelaide. We're a fair distance from any heavily forested areas, and the nearest are to the east - the prevailing wind at this time of year carried that smoke away from us.  
    in There are things that matter and things that don't. Are there many things that matter to you or only a few? Wouldja share them with us? January 15, 2020 5:04 AM MST 1
  • Late lead singer of Australian glam-rock band Skyhooks. His real...  moreLate lead singer of Australian glam-rock band Skyhooks. His real name is Graham, but he went by the professional name "Shirley" throughout his career.  
    in Is being a male named SHIRLEY better or worse than being a boy named SUE? According to you? January 15, 2020 4:59 AM MST 2
  • Couldn't resist the joke. Actually what really matters is the pe...  moreCouldn't resist the joke. Actually what really matters is the people I care about.As for Melbourne, I really don't know. Bushfires are part of every Australian summer but they've never, ever been like this.  
    in There are things that matter and things that don't. Are there many things that matter to you or only a few? Wouldja share them with us? January 15, 2020 4:56 AM MST 1
  • Nobody cares, the electorate has already made up its collective ...  moreNobody cares, the electorate has already made up its collective mind. They're either FOR His Royal Orangeness or AGAINST him - and if they're against, it doesnt matter who's in the blue corner. They'd vote for a broken box full of rotten fruit in a suit, if it was against Trump.  
    in Anyome else think the spat between Bernie and Elizabeth is just to hopefully get people to watch the Dem debate? Ratings been dropping. January 15, 2020 3:34 AM MST 0
  • Christian Socialist and proud of it.
    in Are ALL "ISTS" deplorable? Racist sexist narcissist fascist etcetera etcetera etcetera? Any "ist" that's nifty? Are YOU an "ist"? January 15, 2020 3:28 AM MST 1
  • Sexist or not, given what Hillary was up against, and STILL mana...  moreSexist or not, given what Hillary was up against, and STILL managed to lose, he's probably right. At least he doesn't suggest that it's okay to grab women by the p*ssy, which His Royal Orangeness beyond a shadow of doubt DID say.  
    in He said She said. Allegedly during a private 2018 meeting Bernie told Liz "a woman can't win". Which doth thee believe? The he/she? Why? January 15, 2020 3:26 AM MST 1
  • You matter. Unless you multiplied by the square of the speed of ...  moreYou matter. Unless you multiplied by the square of the speed of light, then you energy.  
    in There are things that matter and things that don't. Are there many things that matter to you or only a few? Wouldja share them with us? January 15, 2020 3:22 AM MST 1
  • Not as bad.
    in Is being a male named SHIRLEY better or worse than being a boy named SUE? According to you? January 15, 2020 3:20 AM MST 2
  • I was only sixteen months old, so I don't remember. I can't ask ...  moreI was only sixteen months old, so I don't remember. I can't ask her she passed away 5 years ago.  
    in When you were growing up, did your mother call you or refer to you as her “baby” only until your next sibling was born? ~ January 14, 2020 11:57 PM MST 0
  • Wolves kill out of necessity, to eat. Only humans murder for the...  moreWolves kill out of necessity, to eat. Only humans murder for the sheer hell of it.  
    in Have you seen anything cuter than this today? January 14, 2020 11:23 PM MST 1
  • I bet there's mayo on those burgers ...
    in Have you seen anything cuter than this today? January 14, 2020 11:22 PM MST 1
  • Stabbed. The attacker has to get close, it's possible to defend ...  moreStabbed. The attacker has to get close, it's possible to defend yourself. You can't stop a shooter a hundred yards or more away.  
    in What a relief for gun people. EIGHT people in Colorado Springs were STABBED on a stabbing spree. All injured. No motive. Stabbing/gunning? January 14, 2020 3:09 AM MST 1
  • We've had every shot except that one. Flu shots aren't broad spe...  moreWe've had every shot except that one. Flu shots aren't broad spectrum, they can only protect against one or very few specific strains - they're only guessing which bug will bite you. If and when they come up with one that protects against all strains of flu, I'll get it.  
    in Has your entire family gotten flu shots for this year? January 14, 2020 3:06 AM MST 2
  • in Have you seen anything cuter than this today? January 14, 2020 3:02 AM MST 0
  • Love is a condition in which the beloved's happiness is essentia...  moreLove is a condition in which the beloved's happiness is essential to your own. If it's not mutual, get outta there.  
    in Which is more important pleasing yourself or pleasing your companion? January 13, 2020 11:29 PM MST 0
  • You're crazy and I'm outta my mind ...
    in Are you crazy...or just out of your mind? January 13, 2020 11:25 PM MST 2
  • Never on it's own, you schmear it on with plenty of butter
    in What is something you can schmear? January 13, 2020 11:21 PM MST 1
  • The point is that she doesn't care enough about her art to study...  moreThe point is that she doesn't care enough about her art to study any history.  
    in I haven't heard this one yet. I am at work. Is it any good? January 13, 2020 11:10 PM MST 0
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2 comments
  • Marguerite, the Beloved , Merlin, and Randy D like this

  • Randy
    Randy
    Is ~ this ~ who ~ I ~ hope ~ it ~ is?
    December 27, 2015

  • caned4doz
    caned4doz
    Your profile puts you in SA, like me - may I ask whereabouts?
    April 27, 2016

  • carbonproduct
    sent you this Public gift
    Sent: November 23, 2017
    HAPPY THANKSGIVING FRIEND>>:))

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