Discussion»Statements»Rosie's Corner» It is very puzzling. Some endure the greatest of tragedies yet remain positive/cheerful/hopeful. Others are quite the opposite. You?
I am strong in my knowledge of who God is and my connection to Him.
This is small, this world, and I do not let anything come between me and my conscious contact with God that I try and strengthen daily. Death is small compared to eternity and we do not die. Our minds cannot logically understand this truth. Therefore, when we shut the mind down, we see. When we let the mind run our agenda, we edge God out.
It is all the power I need to weather any storm. And I have weathered storms of unbelievable proportions. When I forget and get scared, I edge GOD out. (EGO)
When I remember what I actually know and have witnessed? I have no fear and I can move forward.
I had no future while my mom was dying. I had to sit in my room and hide and take care of a woman who started hating me for being well while she withered away.
I did not know what to do when she died. Family that she and I shunned began showing up when she was weak and fragile and ate up all she was saying about me. People that KNEW me and knew she was demented. When she died, I thought I would lose this house. I had no money, no job prosepects at all. NOTHING but my brother drunkenly harassing me, barging in here at night while I was trying to sleep, telling me I owed him rent for living here because his name was in the will.
It was a nightmare. I turned to God as I see God, Satya Sai Baba. When I did? Doors began to re-open that were nothing short of miraculous. My mother left me money. Just enough to start again. We thought that money would go to her enormous medical bills, but it turned out her insurance covered everything. Miracle number one. No one knew this was possible. I had 20 thousand dollars all of a sudden, when I never had a dime to my name. To me it was a fortune. It showed up just in time to save me from becoming homeless, which is what my brother gleefully wanted. He is a very sick alcoholic and if he is in mental pain, then everyone must suffer.
Miracle number two. I got a massage license. Against all odds. I thought this was impossible. It costs about 20 thousand dollars to make it through school. Every cent I had for bills and to live on. I went in and they told me I would get grants and loans and I was able to go to school because I was so broke. If I had money, I would have had to pay for it.
I now have a degree and am able to support myself and keep this house. This was against all odds. I won't even tell you how hard it is go to school when chaos is all around and you cannot even think straight.
My brother and my betraying relatives are long gone and I am serene. I pray every morning first thing, and all this anger I have been carrying is being lifted because I see a light. Finally. I am going to spend my days around mentally healthy people who want to live and want others to live just as badly.
This post was edited by WM BARR . =ABSOLUTE TRASH at December 4, 2018 5:52 AM MST
I do know something about it Sharon. Remember Old School was there to witness some of it. He told me and the fact that you survived it is indeed miraculous. Now here is a question I keep wondering ab out. Is all that you experienced and survived just a test to see what you're made of or was it all random happenstance? Is what we endure part of this lifetime to make us better people so that eventually we won't have to keep coming back here because finally we will have paid attention to the lessons we could have learned in previous lifetimes but refused to learn? How can everything be the product of random? You randomly decide something. You think you are making a choice. That choice precipitates an avalanche of many others things most of which are out of your control. Was that choice you made really random? How can we ever know? SIGH. Thank you for sharing part of that darker part of your journey. I have found that at times in the darkest moments a light came on out of nowhere. Whom or what was responsible I cannot say. ((hugs))
This post was edited by RosieG at December 4, 2018 5:59 AM MST
Well I know I am not the center of the universe and that everything does not revolve around my well being. And I know that as a regular sinful human being I have every right to expect some hardship and even tragedy in my life. But I also know whatever happens that God loves me so why not at least be positive about it and hopeful? I would be an awful gloomy Gus to others if were not!
WM BARR . =ABSOLUTE TRASH 