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Discussion » Statements » Rosie's Corner » When having a choice between doing what benefits them or doing THE RIGHT THING I think most opt for doing the RIGHT THING. Agree/dis?
RosieG

When having a choice between doing what benefits them or doing THE RIGHT THING I think most opt for doing the RIGHT THING. Agree/dis?

Part of it may be fear of being found out. Part of it may be guilt if one chooses what is self-serving and selfish rather than what is not. I don't know how much of each it is but if you know you're doing something WRONG don't you always worry about being found out? For the rest of your life? Who wants to live like that? Always looking over your shoulder to see what is gaining on you. Plus which that's how you stumble because you aren't watching where you're going because you keep looking at where you've been!  :(

Posted - January 15, 2019
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Responses


  • 10781
    I agree.  However, sometimes it seems like selfishness is surpassing selflessness.


    What is "the right thing"?  Not lying?  Helping someone who's in need?  Being polite?  

    Everyone has a conscience.  An "inner alarm" that makes one feel guilty when they do something they think is wrong.   When one violates their conscience, that alarm starts "ringing".  (Note: a conscience is not 100% accurate.  It can only "know" what its been taught).  We feel guilty.  Sometimes we try to ignore our conscious, but that blasted alarm won't stop ringing (what if someone saw me?  What if I get caught?  Getting caught will make me look bad and others will think less of me).  In order to silence that alarm we try to justify our actions by telling ourselves that what we did wasn't really that bad.  "It wasn't a total lie";  "I know I should have helped, but I just had to be (wherever) on time, otherwise (insert consequence)"; "I don't have the resources to properly "do the right thing"; (etc.).   "Unfortunately, ignoring one's conscience is like dragging a sharp knife over a rock.  Do it enough times and that knife becomes dull and worthless (unable to do the job it was designed to do).  

    How many times do you see or hear about people doing atrocious things and wonder how they could possibly do that?  How can a politician lie so much and not feel guilty about it?   The answer?  They've seared their conscience.  They've lied so much that lies come naturally.  There's no conscience there telling them its wrong. (note" one can partially sear their conscience.  Meaning some actions no longer set off the "alarm" while other actions still do.)

    Do you always do the "right thing"?  Be honest.  Sure you may try, but do you always do the "right thing"?   If you find yourself justifying your actions (for whatever reason), odds are high you're trying to silence your conscience alarm.


    We always have the choice of doing the right thing, doing the wrong thing, or doing nothing.  You might witness a theft (should you tell someone?)   You might pass a person standing in the cold rain without an umbrella while you have one (should you offer to share yours?)  You know of someone who's lonely, or someone who, for one reason or another, is unable to shop for themselves, or someone who has lost a beloved pet or a loved one?  You see someone fall down on the street (do you ignore them (I don't want to get involved)?).  Our lives are filled with times we should "do the right thing".    It's easy to see others and wonder why they don't do "the right thing".  But what do you do?
      January 15, 2019 10:54 AM MST
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  • 113301
    Fair question. As I grow older I see more opportunity to do good for or be kind to others. What do I mean by that? When I go out and about wherever it is I smile and engage folks in conversation who are open to it. I have lost count of all the strangers I've hugged after brief conversations in grocery stores or waiting rooms.  It costs me nothing and sometimes or maybe often will give a lift to someone who is a bit down due to some hardship. People are often invisible to one another. Everyone likes to be seen and acknowledged. Well except for the sourpusses and I avoid them. They are ones who never smile back, never say "thank you" if you let them go ahead of you or open a door for them. They are the few. The many are the employees at stores and restaurants and the patients in waiting rooms or customers in stores. Is that the "right thing" to do? It seems right to me Shuhak and so I do it all the time. Try to bring a little smile to someone's face. Compliment someone for something that is sincere. I don't know if I told you this but years ago I was shopping in a market and encountered a lovely lady who was wearing a beautiful blouse. I told her that she looked lovely and I complimented her on the blouse. She teared up and told me she wanted to look especially good that day because she was on her way for her first CHEMO session and she told me that what I said made her feel better. We hugged. We exchanged names but I forget hers although through the years I think about her from time to time and hope she made it through the other side of chemo and survived. I did. I hope she did. Was that the "right thing" for me to do? I think so. I did something that helped someone however small a thing it was. So I made up mind on the spot to go with my "feelings" from then on and I have and I have often been surprised at how much people appreciate being noticed, being given some attention, having someone who will listen. As for right and wrong in other things I am 81. I have very little opportunity or inclination to do "the wrong thing". I am retired. We live a simple quiet life. Our needs are few. Am I perfect? NO. Do I want to be? No. But I do want to reach out to people as much as I can for as long as I can because I never know if that one moment given from me to them will make a difference in their lives. Did I answer your question? Thank you for your thoughtful reply and Happy Wednesday! :)!
      January 16, 2019 1:45 AM MST
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  • 10781
    We never know the effect our actions may have.  A simple compliment may be quickly forgotten by another.  Then again, it may be a major turning point in their life.  Holding open a door for another may get you yelled at, or it may be the kindest thing anyone's ever done for them.  

    Yes people love to be acknowledged.  Even in a world of billions we all feel a bit "lonely" inside.  When someone acknowledges you, it makes you feel "alive" (if you know what I mean).



    Would It come as a surprise to you that I am considered to be what you call a "sourpuss"?  I've overheard people say on many an occasion (only they use stronger words).  While I try to smile back, many times I dont.  Am I being intentionally rude?  Heaven forbid!  As I've told you before, I'm a perfectionist (that's my personality).  As such, I concentrate deeply on whatever it is I'm doing (to make sure I do it to my own high standards of perfection).  Many times I get so "into" what I'm doing  that I don't notice others ... let alone see them smile at me.  To hear someone call me a "jacka**" because i didn't see them smile or I failed to acknowledge them, hurts.  The same goes for saying "hi".  Worse, I have a very soft voice.  Even when I do say hi it's rarely audible (even if I scream it).  It also doesn't help much that I'm extremely "shy".  My "shyness" makes me seem aloof (I'm actually quite the opposite).  Having worked in retail for 30 years, I know that there are some real "a-holes" out there.  However, without being in their shoes we don't know why they are like they are.  Are they simply rude?  Are they having a bad day?  Are they shy?  Did their pet die this morning?  Are they lonely?  Did they just get fired from their job?  Do they owe thousand of dollars in bills but only have ten cents to their name?  Have they just been evicted and are now homeless?  or were they simply born an a-hole?

    I try to do the right thing, but I never expect anything in return.  I do it simply because it's the right thing to do.  Unfortunately, these days when one does the right thing they tend to stand out (an oddity).  Who has the time to hold the door open for others?  We can't help up a person who has fallen as they might sue us.  Why thank the cashier after they've rung up our groceries?  After all, that's their job.  Who helps another who's struggling to put gas into their car?   Who has kind words for another who's crying?  Just get over it! 

      January 16, 2019 11:02 AM MST
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