Discussion»Statements»Rosie's Corner» If someone were to ask you a question the answer to which would hurt them how would you handle it? What would you say to avoid hurt?
It would pretty much depend on what is asked. If someone were to ask me if I liked a dress they bought and I didn't, I might say that I thought a different style would be more flattering. I'm pretty much a tell it like it is sort of person. While I don't intentionally mean to be hurtful, there are times when the unvarnished truth is called for. Those who know me, know that if they want something other than my honest opinion, they should not ask.
You know what my friend? We all KNOW if the person delivering the hurt is a friend or a foe. We all know if message is delivered with respect love like admiration or if it comes from a source whose intentions toward you are never honorable. Don'tcha think? Thank you for your reply L! :)
It's all subjective, but people (adults) who know me well know that if they ask me a question, I am going to be honest - no sugar coating - I don't believe in that.
There is tender honesty and brutal honesty lavender. Your friend looks enormously fat in a dress. When she asks if you like the dress you don't have to say "it makes you look enormously fat". You could say "I like the blue dress better. The style suits you better". Right? Deliver the same message but with tender loving care. Brutal is never necessary. Maybe I need to rethink that or restate that. Let me say that brutal is never necessary directed toward someone you care about. If you don't like the person or care about his/her feelings then you can hack and slay away without remorse. Honesty comes two ways. Mean or kind. Thank you for your reply lavender and Happy Tuesday! :)
This post was edited by RosieG at January 22, 2019 7:05 AM MST
I don't ever tell anyone they look fat unless they specifically ask me if I think they do...no one yet has asked. Fat/overweight people already know that they are, but yes, I understand what you're saying. I have friends who appreciate brutal honesty, and I have a few who don't. Either way, when they ask me my opinion, I give it, and they (my friends and loved ones ) are already aware that I am blunt and honest. I won't do the sugar coating thing. Have a great day as well, Rosie!
This post was edited by Benedict Arnold at January 22, 2019 7:08 AM MST
That's a tough one. I would hope that when someone asks you a question, it's because they really want to know what you think. I guess you'd have to gauge how to deal with each particular person though. Some people can handle what we really think .. and some can't. Finding a way to be truthful in a tactful way is mostly the best way to do it IMO. Never easy.
I think it has everything to do with one's intentions Mrs. C. Honesty can be delivered two ways. Cruel/mean or tender/kind. It takes a little thinking and care with your choice of words but it's possible to do. Also a very hard thing to do but lying to someone who wants a truthful answer isn't a kindness. It's cowardice. Thank you for your reply B and Happy Tuesday to thee! :)
SpunkySenior 