.
I bet a psychologist would have fun with me. Actually, maybe I'm normal? I'm interested in what others say here. For me, there are a lot of different types of love. There is the unfailing love I feel for my kids, which was naturally instantaneous. There is love that I have for my friends, which grows over time. Romantic love is a whole different beast. There's the attraction/ infatuation stage that hits right away. It's not real love, but it feels like it is. Over time, that can settle into a deeper love, like the friendship love. The "I'll love you forever" kind of love is a decision. It's something I have to choose to allow myself to feel and most of the time, there just isn't enough trust there for that.
Wow. I love what you said here: The "I'll love you forever" kind of love is a decision. Yes! I think I know just where you're coming from, and I think we are quite similar in this regard.
My love is instant, and it gets me in trouble. Love comes before I've had time to think and before I've had time to try much of anything with the object of my love. I tend to love unconditionally, which is a problem, and I tend to discount flaws until they interfere with my own well-being. This applies to platonic relationships, too, but it's especially true with romantic relationships. I guess that's my purpose on Earth, to love other humans, even though it's tricky to find someone who will allow that kind of immediate closeness. I don't know any other way. However, my love does get stronger as time goes on... I still have a hard time trusting people, even though I can't help but put myself out there right away. Whatever. Life is weird.
It takes time and it should take time.. Restless decisions can lead you to wrong ways..
Either/or
Reading your response, it seems we are very similar in this regard. I've been given a hard time over this, as if it makes me a cold person, that love is a "choice," but to me, I would think that says more about the depth of the affection. If you just fall, you're not doing anything. It's no reflection on you or your affection or whether it will stick around. When you make a conscious decision to love someone, I think it's a stronger love.
gradually
For me too love is intuitive. I just "know" that s/he is the person I'd like to be closer to, and share heart to heart, and mind to mind. Not everyone is receptive the way I'd like them to be, which leaves me a little frustrated. But, c'est la vie: Life is indeed weird ... at times.
Your last sentence is superb, JA.
Sliding into it gradually. :-)
Totally agree!!!
I know what you mean about the "I just know" I felt that way about my current bf, even though I was interacting with lots of people on here there was something about him that drew me in.
Very true
