.
If its someone you're very close to you... then I agree.. a part of you dies too.
The sad thing is.. some people hold onto the intense pain because they are frightened of forgetting, if even for a few hours..they feel guilty and they feel they don't deserve happiness again because that person is gone... that's why some people never get over it... or even die of a broken heart... that is very sad.
I agree and the loved one would be heartbroken. Thank you for your reply cherry and Happy Monday! :)
Having something treasured be ripped from your heart and bosom is very traumatic. There is no way it cannot be so. The healing, the sorrow, the shock (not in this order) are all necessary processes of a growth of sorts labeled WISDOM for lack of a better description. Anyone who has endured a death of someone near and dear has taken a step towards being a changed person. We know what this feels like now. If we have never experienced it, it is not the same as having it happen in actuality.
I have lost so many people that as weird as it sounds, I am a lot number about this than I was when I was 15. I saw death up close for the first time when one of my friends was killed by her boyfriend. This was a normal suburban school back in the early 60's. It was not some ghetto city at all. It was all Donna Reed Show bright and shiny. Then one day my girlfriend was gunned down in the hallway by her school locker in front of everyone, by her boyfriend whom she broke up with.
Dead, two days later. That hit me so hard, I could not get out of bed all weekend. I was in shock. My parents did not understand my emotions at all. They were jealous and told me that if it were one of them, I wouldn't act so crestfallen.
They just did NOT get it. They had been alive for so long and through enough death that they could not understand how a tender, young mind with no defenses, would respond to something of this magnitude.
But, I soon learned to deaden myself to the process because I would gain, unfortunately, a ton of practice.
I think it's a part of life. The older you get, the more you understand the ebbs and flow of it.
And yes, every loss changes a part of you forever.
I too have gone through some traumatic loss that knocked me to my knees. I never thought I could go a day without sobbing.
I think there is a part of me that I will never regain. The one thing you can never have back after trauma is your innocence. I never lost my compassion, but I know a part of me is hardened.
This is true, especially if you watched someone you loved suffer. Survivor's guilt is very real.
Thank you and Happy Monday to you too. :)
Sadly it is.. some people just cant go on and end up committing suicide. I've known people who this has happened to.. they have felt too guilty to keep living when someone they love as been taken away...they think why them and not me. This is even worse for people who have tried to take there own life in the past.. even if it were years and years before..it has a greater impact on them because the guilt can be unbearable.. because they wanted and tried to end their life when someone who wanted to live was taken away and nothing could change that. I've saw this happen in psychiatric patients.. the impact is huge.
Welcome back :)
You're welcome cherry and Happy Tuesday m'dear! :)
I have survivor's guilt from my then best-friend's suicide PeaPod. Her name was Effie and she was a beautiful and intelligent woman. I got a call from her youngest daughter who told me she had killed herself. Out of the blue. No one knew anything about her being depressed or upset or unhappy. I didn't watch her suffer because I didn't know she was. Neither did her family or siblings or friends. That was in mid 1980's. And yes I still feel guilty decades later for not having been a better friend because if I were I would have known...wouldn't I? I could have done something about it if I'd known. Right? 
Thank you for your reply and Happy Tuesday! :)
That afflicted me when my father passed away in January 1960 but who remembers? For six months I'd burst into tears at odd moments. It was the first real loss I'd ever experienced. I was 22. My "baby" sister was 7 years younger. And that night after the coroner had taken daddy away my then-husband and I and my mom and sis went over to my grandparents home to spend the night. They lived two blocks away and my aunt and uncle lived with them. We all slept in the living room on sofas or cots or on the floor. We needed to be together. No one got much sleep. The thing I remember most about that night was that my sister who was sound asleep kept asking "but who is going to walk me down the aisle?". It broke my heart then and still does. After time passed I stop crying. But I still miss him. It doesn't get easier either. Each loss is fresh and new and hurts too much. But it doesn't take me as long to recover now. Thank you for your reply. Condolenc
es for your loss(es)
Indeed. It does. Thank you for your reply PeaPod.
