I can't. It would take me several decades. I would have to speed you up and let you see an answer it took me 40 years to learn.
You don't have a bad job. You have a piss poor attitude.
I am telling you something that would have saved my life if I would have seen it sooner. You won't. You cannot. You have to go through it. I pray for you that you learn faster than I did and stop a lot of heartache that is all in your head. Gratitude is EVERYTHING. I had little when I was in my 20's and even 30's and 40's. Don't tread that path if you can avoid it.