Discussion » Statements » Rosie's Corner » Some flirt and are good at it I guess. Others can't be bothered with the playacting. When I hear "FLIRT" I think of TEASE. Do you too?
RosieG

Some flirt and are good at it I guess. Others can't be bothered with the playacting. When I hear "FLIRT" I think of TEASE. Do you too?

i don't get any of it. I never flirted. I'm a serious gal. I don't playact or pretend or tease. If someone liked me I expected he would ask me out on a date. Those were the days when gals WAITED to be asked. Of course they did look forward to SADIE HAWKINS DAY! The one day of the year gals were SUPPOSED TO ask guys out. I don't know if they still have Sadie Hawkin's Day dances but I never did muster up the courage to ask someone out! Too scared of being rejected I suppose. Too shy. Anyway getting back to the question of flirting. It really seems childish to me. Maybe I think and feel that way because my shyness prevented me from asking and gambling on being rejected and it provided me with a balm to soothe/justify my cowardice? I dunno.

Posted - May 7, 2019
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Responses


  • 6098
    Think of how men must feel having to do the asking out and being rejected? No wonder so many of them develop a kind of immunity to rejection.  You say no and they keep asking.  But although there is conscious flirting much of it is unconscious. Whether we are conscious of them or not we are sending out signals - that is only natural.  And being conscious about it is not necessarily play-acting but can be just helping nature along! This post was edited by officegirl at May 7, 2019 6:58 AM MDT
      May 7, 2019 6:55 AM MDT
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  • 7280
    My perspective is from the heterosexual viewpoint---and I say that only because I do not wish to pretend I understand how things play out any other sexual orientation. 

    I have mentioned before that CS Lewis said that male and female are biological life's participation of that greater POLARITY in the universe of masculine and feminine.  (Italics are mine to emphasize the basic underlying attraction of the opposite sex for me---and vice versa.)

    It makes sense to me that men and women are hardwired to see each other as potential mates and that flirting is no different from the elaborate rituals that we know that lower animals perform to attract a mate.

    And naturally, I would think that some are more inclined to flirt or not flirt based on their personal social upbringings.


      May 7, 2019 8:09 AM MDT
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  • 113301
    It just seems artificial to me tom. My son once told me I would need someone to hit me over the head with a baseball bat (figuratively) for me to notice he liked me. I guess that's true. I figger if someone likes me I'd get asked out. Otherwise it's just so much banter and I just don't get the point. I have a good close friend, male, who is just like me.  Wouldn't have a clue unless the gal figuratively hogtied him and dragged him somewhere. I will tell you this I'm sick and tired of hearing gals talk about how many guys/gals are always coming on to them as if they are irresistible. In their dreams! Well maybe some gals do get hit on all the time but maybe they're inviting it by the vibes or signals they send out. I dunno. I think artifice of any kind always gets in the way. I think my mom might have been a flirt when she was single. She was a very girly gal even when she got old! Me? Not so much. Feminine yes. Girly? Not so much. I don't pretend to be inept just to make the guy feel good. I am honorably and honestly inept at things and when I am I say so. But I don't lie about it as gals are advised to do to get a guy. They said "don't let your brains show". WHAT? Honestly that is what girl kids are advised to do from a very young age and some do. Sadly true. Thank you for your reply tom!  :)
      May 7, 2019 8:49 AM MDT
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  • 46117
    It is NOT my style.  I have nothing against it.  I don't approach people that way. 
      May 7, 2019 8:11 AM MDT
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  • 113301
    Me too neither. Thank you for your reply Sharon! :)
      May 7, 2019 8:51 AM MDT
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  • 10891
    I'm willing to bet you have flirted.  Maybe not deliberately, but in a subtly way.   It's a form of communication.  One doesn't have to be a "flirt" to flirt

    Waiting for the guy to ask has its drawbacks for some.  Not every guy is Mr. Macho.  If the guy is overly shy he's never going to "ask" (and he ends up spending his life alone).
      May 7, 2019 10:08 AM MDT
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  • 46117
    No.  I know how to seduce.  That is a different animal entirely.  NOW you are TALKING MY LANGUAGE.  I can seduce anyone because I know what I am doing and I know how to find out what someone wants. It is rarely, if ever, sex.

    Thank you for pointing out the difference.  Flirting is mindless fluff.  Seduction requires brains and strategy.  


    This post was edited by WM BARR . =ABSOLUTE TRASH at May 7, 2019 11:35 AM MDT
      May 7, 2019 10:24 AM MDT
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  • 10891
    Seducing is not flirting.  Flirting is usually subtle, and can even be done subconsciously.  Seducing is intentional and is done with pure sexual intent (not necessarily resulting in the "act" itself).  Both flirting and seduction can have unwanted results. 
      May 7, 2019 11:44 AM MDT
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