Since my social life pretty much revolves around work and taking naps I suppose now's a good time to consider having a child or two.

That's true.  Then again, so am I.

They're also expensive and unreasonably demanding ... like wanting you to feed them and stuff.

Oh, I am raising free-range children if the condom ever breaks.  It will be a " go outside till the street lights come on" household. Well more like "till the crickets start chirping" but you get the idea.

Be sure to have a few extra to account for the ones that will go missing. That's called family planning.

Nah, if you love something set it free.

At least send them off with a pocket knife and a pack of matches.

Of course..  How else are they going to play mumblypeg and make foil rockets?

Good point.

How many babies you think your built to pump out?

zero

Narrow hips eh?

Not really. That's just a terrible thing to put a body through.

Fair point.   

Fair point.   

I know you are but what am I?

But I KNOW I am and I don't want any. You don't know what you are getting into.   They are harder than dogs even.


This post was edited by WM BARR . =ABSOLUTE TRASH at July 10, 2019 9:24 AM MDT

I agree this may be a bad idea but everyone tells me I would be good at it and should have some.

Well, you are old enough and smart enough to know what you are doing.  I had a dad that was gone all the time due to work.  He was irritable and tired a lot.  I don't think you want to do this.  Also, it helps to have a wife or partner to help with this.  

BIG TIME.  What are you gonna do with them when you are working all those hours?  They need supervision.  I'm out of the house from 1:30 to about 11:00 every single day.  I cannot even own a dog or cat.  Too long to leave them alone for that long every day.  

Buy some parakeets.  They are easier.  

I was thinking of getting me a runaway Amish as a wife so she can cook, clean, raise the kid all that jazz 

I think you are working way too hard to make this happen.  Work smarter.

My life is changing in so many ways
I don't know who to trust anymore
There's a shadow running through my days
Like a beggar going from door to door

I was thinking that maybe I'd get a maid
Find a place nearby for her to stay
Just someone to keep my house clean
Fix my meals and go away

A maid
A man needs a maid
A maid

It's hard to make that change
When life and love turns strange
And old

To give a love, you gotta live a love
To live a love, you gotta be "part of"
When will I see you again?

A while ago somewhere I don't know when
I was watching a movie with a friend
I fell in love with the actress
She was playing a part that I could understand

A maid
A man needs a maid
A maid
A man needs a maid

When will I see you again?

This post was edited by WM BARR . =ABSOLUTE TRASH at July 10, 2019 9:51 AM MDT