Please don‘t joke about the tildes like that, you’ve really touched a raw nerve. I may give up my life savings, my 401K, my priceless volumes of grammar texts, anything, but no woman is getting her grubby paws all over my tilde collection. Grrrrrrr.
All marital assets from fake answerMug marriages are forfeited and given to answerMug. All debts are divided equally between the couple and must be paid off with interest in the form of questions and answers. Be advised that it's like taking out a payday loan. You'll be paying interest until the day you die and will never get to the principal.
Alimony is decided on a case-by-case basis, but you should be aware that the court looks favorably upon those who drink coffee. Those who do not typically must undergo a rigorous psychiatric evaluation and are generally stripped of any parental rights they may have otherwise had to imaginary babies (human, tilde, or otherwise) conceived in fake answerMug marriages. However, exceptions are sometimes made for those willing to undergo conversion therapy.