It’s strange, really. Lately when I try to apply the brakes, they are mushy and unresponsive. Since this problem began about ten days ago, I have slammed through various stop signs, stop lights, and intersections, I have nearly rear-ended more than a few cars, I have scared pedestrians in crosswalks who thought I was go to bowl them over, when o try to park the car, I have plowed into things such as walls, fences, barriers, and shrubs as if I am driving a battering ram on crack.
Looking back a couple weeks, everything was perfectly fine with the brakes. Well, that’s not entirely true. The brakes were squeaking all the time, and day after day it got increasingly worse, increasingly louder, increasingly annoying. It got so bad that I remedied it by spraying globs and globs of WD-40 directly into all of the working parts of the brakes. Every time the squeaking started again, more WD-40. You probably wouldn’t believe how much of it I slathered on there, it was Goo City. I guess I must have gone through an entire can of the stuff on each wheel twice a week. The squeaking has stopped completely now, but the brakes . . .
HEY, WAIT A SECOND!