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Discussion » Statements » Rosie's Corner » The right word at the right time can be sublime. A really good one is "THANKS". Are you a fan?

The right word at the right time can be sublime. A really good one is "THANKS". Are you a fan?

Posted - January 23

Responses


  • 6954
    Certainly---A heartfelt "Thanks" is certainly sublime when it is actually warranted.

    Unfortunately, adding value to another's life is difficult at times and impossible at others; but I do like to acknowledge genuine attempts are doing that.

    (My wife frequently attempts to assist me---she is one of five children; I am an only child---and am therefore accustomed to having a plan from start to finish for any given task while she tends to break a task into a small number of discrete steps.

    Finally, about 4 years ago, I make it a point to ask her NOT to help me at various times---lol.)
      January 23, 2020 11:33 AM MST
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  • 94503
    Unwarranted thanks is lying tom of which I am NOT a fan. Whether what you do adds value is up to the person to whom you extend your kindness. You have no control over that. Simply doing what you can when you can is more than what many people do. Sadly. As for your wife's offer to help..she does it because she loves you and wants to make your workload lighter and also perhaps to share an interest you may have. Perhaps you can redirect her to "helping" where she can't do much damage. It will be a gift to her at small cost to you. Thank you for your reply and Happy Thursday! :)
      January 23, 2020 12:32 PM MST
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  • 6954
    My wife and I are very honest and straightforward with each other. 

    Asking for what one wants and needs 100% of the time is important for both the husband and wife to continue to come to "know" each other---and that knowledge is essential to real intimacy in a marriage.

    As CS Lewis once opined, if he knew that someone was coming over to his house with the expressed purpose of "doing him good," Lewis would immediately leave through the back door so that he would not be home when the person arrived. 

    Last night I mentioned to my wife that I loved her.  She laughed (which actually was appropriate) and then she mentioned again that one of her best friends tried to tell her 35+ years ago that I really did love her and that she had finally come to realize that her best friend was right a few years ago---my wife realized I really did lover her, and to a rather significant degree. 

    If I were doing something for you with the intent of helping you and in reality all I am doing is making your job harder and more time consuming for you, I would certainly want you to tell me that so that neither one of us is expended unwanted and unnecessary effort.

    And the gifts we give each other---based on the knowledge of each other that we share with each other---are at no cost to either of us and tend to be mostly large and significant gifts.

    I spent a lot of time in my younger years learning what was important in choosing candidates for office.

    I also spent a lot of time in those years learning what was necessary to participate in a really good marriage.

    My commentaries on either subject---as well as many others---have strong grounding in actual knowledge that I have sought and made my own. 
      January 24, 2020 1:38 PM MST
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  • 94503
    It sounds to me as if you and your wife have a good thing going and I'm very happy for you. What C.S. Lewis said though? I would be the opposite. I think that is quite cruel and arrogant as a matter of fact. Someone whose sole goal is to be helpful should not be disrespected like that. In my opinion. We have different gifts and some of us like to share whom we are with others and some are so stingy and selfish and unkind they wouldn't never reach out a hand to help anyone. I suspect most of us are in the middle. Lewis would LEAVE so he could avoid someone who wanted to help. Of course I have just the surface of what that would mean and on the surface he seems to be an A**. I enjoy his writings but methinks I would not enjoy knowing him personally. Arrogance is not my cuppa tea. I think we are all imperfect. I think we THINK we are doing our best. Etcetera and so forth. Thank you for your thoughtful and informative reply and Happy Saturday to thee! :O
      January 25, 2020 2:24 AM MST
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  • 6954
    The arrogance is frequently on the part of the person who has the audacity to think he can help someone by trying to inflict his or her will on them.






      January 27, 2020 11:26 AM MST
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  • 94503
    "Inflict"? How odd that word seems to be to me in this context. "Offer to help" seems benign to me but it seems threatening to you. I wonder why? Audacious comes in many colors sizes flavors viscosity tom. One size does not fit all just as one description does not cover every situation. It sounds to me as if you have been badly served by those who offered their help. Your experience while unfortunate does not speak to all the other experiences that were successful. I know you set the parameter to a specific place to make your point. SIGH. Thank you for your reply and Happy Monday. We are not on the same page here. That's OK isn't it? This post was edited by RosieG at February 4, 2020 12:53 PM MST
      January 27, 2020 11:44 AM MST
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  • 6954
    If I have a boundary that you cross than you in fact are inflicting yourself on me---and if I have not personally sought your help, you have crossed a boundary.
      February 4, 2020 12:55 PM MST
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  • 94503
    Even with the best of intentions? I see. Best to leave you be entirely than to risk inflicting myself on thee. Thank you for your reply tom. This post was edited by RosieG at February 7, 2020 2:29 PM MST
      February 7, 2020 2:19 PM MST
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  • 6954
    If I post anything on here, I am appreciative and interested in any return comments---when it comes to this site, consider my front door open and me sitting in my recliner awaiting your arrival at your convenience.
      February 7, 2020 2:31 PM MST
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  • 33018
    I say it in any situation that arises deserves one. Thanks for asking.
      January 23, 2020 12:00 PM MST
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  • 94503
    You're welcome E. I believe that is the very first time you have ever thanked me for anything. Thank you for your reply. This post was edited by RosieG at January 23, 2020 2:30 PM MST
      January 23, 2020 12:33 PM MST
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  • 33018
    I actually am nice.
      January 23, 2020 2:30 PM MST
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  • 94503
    Are we the best judge of ourselves? Who among us would admit "I am a jerk"? Can you imagine dumb don owning up to all the horrible things HE IS? So we live and work and play in a world where we are OKAY but the other guy? Not so much. Thank you for your reply E! :)
      January 24, 2020 2:13 AM MST
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  • 6954
    Well, no "jerk" would ever admit that unless he had some epiphany.

    I suspect the flag of truth will not be planted in Trumps soul on this side of the grave. 
      January 24, 2020 1:44 PM MST
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  • 94503
    That is so eloquently stated tom. For whatever reason he is totally incapable of self-evaluation self-awareness and I suspect self-love. It seems and appears that he is totally and completely in love with himself but I suspect it is just the opposite. If he loved himself he wouldn't be so pathetically needy for acknowledgement acceptance approval. What do YOU think? Thank you for your reply and Happy Saturday! :)
      January 25, 2020 2:09 AM MST
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  • 6954
    (I paraphrased a comment I read by CS Lewis's writings many years ago about the "flag of truth.")

    About all I can say about Trump is that he is dysfunctional and unassailable proof that the unexamined life is not worth living---and if he can't figure out what state is home to the Kansas City Chief's, how can he figure out how to judge his life on the appropriate principles?

    Like Pelosi, I am a Catholic, and neither of us hate Trump---I also pray for him---possibly not always directly, but more like "God, please minimize the damage is is causing to American values and principles."

    (I also pray for Trump supporters---but with less hope in my heart.)

    Que sera, sera.



      February 4, 2020 1:07 PM MST
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  • 94503
    I salute you tom and I also salute Nancy as well. I do not pray for don nor his supporters. I am not Catholic so my view is not tempered by such goodness/kindness. I am serious here. I think don is a vicious vile vengeful monster and I see him roasting slowly on a pit in he** for eternity. His supporters? They are the ones who enabled him to be prez (with a lot of help from foreign hostile enemies and hacking and lying and denying and obfuscating) so I have nothing to pray for about them. I think they are lost souls and not redeemable. I talk to God every day. So far it's a one-way conversation but here's the thing. GOD GAVE ME THIS BRAIN so I figger HE knows all about what I think and feel and HE might be disappointed in me but I think HE understands. I wish I could have that elusive "Christian" mercy in me. I wish I could forgive but I can't. It would be a lie if I said I did. I am defective. I admit it. But I am honest to a fault. That is also a "gift" from GOD. SIGH. Thank you for your reply! :)
      February 5, 2020 2:29 AM MST
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  • 6954
    I frequently ask for His assistance, but I leave the manner in which it comes to me up to Him.

    One of the perks of being a good father is understanding how God the Father probably works as a "father."

    When our children were younger, I had to decide which lesson I was going to teach when an opportunity arose to teach something; and I chose based on what I wanted our sons to learn in the long run and I tried to integrate opportunities for a particular outcome.

    One thing I have learned from reading CS Lewis's Chronicles of Narnia is that while God knows what we needs, like any good father, he likes his children to ask Him for things.

    And I just like to give God the maximum flexibility to teach me what He knows I need at the moment.

    When I pray for Trump and his supporters, I pray for their enlightenment and their realization of the harm that Trump is doing to America---sort of like God does not will the death of a sinner, but rather that the sinner be converted and live.

    Republican senators and Trump supporters seem rather recalcitrant---but fortunately the "Hound of Heaven" never gives up. This post was edited by tom jackson at February 7, 2020 1:56 PM MST
      February 7, 2020 1:46 PM MST
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  • 94503
    I have not evolved to your level tom and I doubt I ever shall. I think I would like to be merciful and forgiving. But it seems to me if I really did I'd do something about it. Try to change my outlook or view but I don't. I just react at the moment and of course if the harm/hurt is incidental/accidental there is nothing to forgive. If it is done purposefully knowing it will harm I go stone cold. SIGH. I never realized that about myself until just now and when I see the words I am surprised. But I do believe that is exactly what I do. Thank you for your reply. Perhaps it is the Catholic Faith that trained you? I started out going to our Armenian Apostolic church in Pasadena. Then we went to the Presbyterian church within walking distance to where we lived That's where I taught Sunday School at the age of 12. I am not grounded in a specific Christian Religion. I have no idea what the differences are among them. There are so many sects subsects of being Christian it's hard to keep track. At some point I left the middleman and I am not a churchgoer. I go direct to GOD all the time. So maybe in that solitary journey I am without the necessary teaching I should have gotten. I don't know. Thank you for your reply tom! :) This post was edited by RosieG at February 7, 2020 2:12 PM MST
      February 7, 2020 1:58 PM MST
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  • 6954
    I'm not sure it's a question of evolving---perhaps more a way of looking at.   

    And this is a recent personal insight---never thought of this in my Catholic childhood.

    Within the last few months you and I talked about "forgiveness"---forgive those who trespass against us, vengeance kills both of the two involved, judge not less you be judged, etc.

    My latest take is that the "vengeance is mine, sayeth the Lord" is really a reminder that the only long term relationship that lasts throughout eternity is the one we have with the God who created us.

    And God is telling us that if we do not forgive and also love our enemies that "posture" will somehow diminish the full benefits that each of us can potentially receive out of that special individual relationship with that God.

    In a sense, I think that I'm being told by God that no matter how much evil is in the world, and no matter how appropriate it may be for me to rail against it, I wasn't around when He made the world; and I don't come close to fully understanding the role that suffering plays in the Economy of Salvation, so forgiveness an disconnecting myself from the world in that way is what I should be spending my time and energy on.

    (Maybe...?) This post was edited by tom jackson at February 7, 2020 2:29 PM MST
      February 7, 2020 2:27 PM MST
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  • 46201
    I'm a big fan and gratitude is everything blissful.
      February 7, 2020 1:53 PM MST
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  • 94503
    Me too. Thank you for your reply Sharon! :)
      February 7, 2020 2:22 PM MST
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