How closely do you identify with your fake online username?

Hi Randy D~ Not knowing with whom I am truly addressing and being full of mischievous wizardry and fun magical antics, I couldn't resist but to use your very own words to share my very concise answer.  You had the whole story yourself.  You knew the answer.  You just happened to have to words in the wrong order. I took the liberty of Plagiarizing you. I simply connected your words a little differently.  They lent themselves to formulate the most decisive answer.   I hope you don't mind.  

Now, if you would be so kind as to look in a totally round-about, fully cockeyed view, into the crystal ball sitting over there at the end of your table, you will see how the story unfolds. This is how it happened:

The voices, the voices! Arrrrrrgh, they never stop! That was what I was screaming as I was thinking,  this straight jacket itches.  But then again, YOU already know that.  They said, I'm only a legend in my own mind.  Little do they know, My real self is the fake one; I'm truly my fake identity. 

It all began when I accidentally signed a check with it last week.  I thought I could use it here, where it was safe.  While I was talking to my other identity, I began to wonder why you weren't taking to him, too.  My fake identity started to argue back, telling me My fake name IS me, and I am my fake name. This confused the issue to no end. Now, my spouse thinks he is seeing someone behind my back.  Especially when he found out I plan to leave everything to my fake identity in my will. This drove my evil twin to insanity. It's my evil twin who killed all those people, not I or my fake identity.

To make matters worse, my fake identity will just give a different answer. 

If you have any more questions as to my real identity, please feel free to write or call me.  My phone number and address are located on the back of this answer.

Thank you and have a nice evening