With so many people trapped with spouses, irksome kids, and/or violent partners - surely there will be some who will face the break up of their relationship? Equally, I wonder whether for some it will mean a deepening of the connection, renewed admiration and fondness, a rare chance to spend more time together?
What say you?
It depends on how they approach it.
It's hard to go from seeing your spouse 8-12 hours a day to having them underfoot 24/7. That’s reserved for retirement (oh, it’s coming). Having to deal with rambunctious kids AND a bored/overworked spouse, PLUS all the anxiety that stems from what's happening (virus, economy, food, misinformation) 24/7… that’s a recipe for disaster!
Being trapped with any person for an extended period of time is hard, as we all like – need - to have our "space". (Road trip diary day 2 - "if those kids don't stop asking if we're there yet, I swear I'm going to leave them at the next rest stop!”). Having your "space" be the guest bathroom doesn't quite cut it. It's more like a neutral corner; and when the "bell" goes off, you're coming out swinging!
Remember that "for better or worse" vow you took (or should I say parroted back)? Well, this is that "worst" time. The time where your relationship (and nerves) will be stretched thinner than that 1-ply roll of toilet paper you’ve been rationing out to the family (the good 2-ply is hidden on the top shelf of the closet. It’s only for you to use in your “space”).
To avoid another Alamo, couples must change their habits during their time in captivity. They must learn to put the other person first. They must learn to bite their tongue when they find the toilet seat up (at 3 am... in the dark). They must learn to smile and be thankful for their partner (even when they find their partners secret stash of 2-ply toilet paper. Each must allow the other to have time by themselves - even when the youngest kid flushed their entire set of Lego’s down the main bathroom toilet and you have to go badly, but your partners having “space” in the only other bathroom in the house).
Don’t forget the kids (like that’s possible, since they broke your noise-canceling headphones on day 1). They too are feeling the pressure of captivity (hard to make a scene by storming out of the house when one can’t leave the house). Do things with them – play games, let each of them choose an “appropriate” TV program to watch once or twice a week, teach them things (note: this is not a good time to teach them how to burp the alphabet). But allow them their space as well, after all they’re not too keen on being stuck with their parents either).
Element 99 