Discussion»Questions»Traditions» As you were growing up, what were some political or social issues your parent(s) stressed so stringently that you adopted in your own life?
Yes, like many others, I'm a product of my nurturing and training. Much that I grew up with, I was proud to retain and put to practice. I have benefited overall from doing so. First and foremost, God is pre-eminent and the first priority in all matters. There is life, power, truth and authority in His word. Politically, we are to be good stewards and caretakers of those rights and freedoms that were passed on to us. They will only be as good as what is passed along by succeeding generations. Contrary to what some may say, there are universal truths that are worth suffering and sacrificing for. The late Truett Cathy, founder of Chick-Fila restaurants told a Senate Sub Committee that he ran his business the way he ran his life, by the "Golden Rule". Therein lies the key to extending dignity and respect to humankind. Also, enjoying a porch rocker in the cool of a summer evening with a fruit jar of iced tea and the aroma of honeysuckle vines drifting over the breeze, is actually worth more than gold.
My mother believed that God created all of us loves us all equally. She never referred to any group of people in a negative light. I adopted that mostly, but I have a hard time with idiots and she would shame me for it.
Even with all of her endearing and wonderful qualities, my mother also paradoxically gave merely vague lip service to some life lessons that I think would have served her children well in life. One of the main ones was education, or more accurately, higher education and life plans to achieve same. Although highly intelligent herself and very well educated, I do wish there had been more emphasis on leading, guiding and directing her children wards interests in pursuing college degrees. Of course, she did start off at a deficit, because she got pregnant at age 17 and in those days, girls were kicked out of high school when that happened. She did scrape and scratch and fight her way back to studying and finishing schooling, even college, but once again, due to the time period, there was no support and no helpful infrastructure for impoverished mothers to attend classes. It didn’t help that she just kept having more children, and having us very close together, too, eventually five in all. I remember being about two or three years old and riding the public buses to her night school classes along with my siblings. I adopted from her a love of reading (she taught all of us to read by age three), a love of the English language (it was her major and she excels at it, also, she never allowed baby talk or slang on the home), a love of learning (I’ve always loved going to school, being in classrooms), an inquisitive, curious nature. For all of that I love her immensely and will forever be in her debt. However, not one day was ever spent nor one word ever uttered pointing any of us toward college educations. Another aspect of the times is that I don’t believe the schools stressed it back then either. I grew up in what might be called “the black inner city”, whatever that truly means. Although an avid student who loved learning, I never received encouragement to plan out my life. I lived day by day with the only expectation that I get a high school diploma, but after that, what? We all found our own paths, and not all were good ones. Eldest sister, marriage and children, then divorce and welfare, drifted for years as her eldest chose gangs and prison, her youngest single motherhood of numerous children and endless welfare and poverty. Both my older and younger brothers, hanging with the wrong crowd, running away from home, trouble with the law, substance abuse. I joined the military, saw the world, grew up, married and a father. Both of my brothers joined the US Army after I joined the Marines, but both eventually got kicked out. Our younger sister fared a little better, partially because she had something the first four did not: she knew who her father was and he was in her life from the day she was born. My mother divorced him when I was 14, so my sister would have been 3. Her father was there for her throughout her life until he passed away 25 years later. He was wealthy (independent of my mother), and he put my little sister through college, bought her a house upon graduation, everything. When he passed away, he left her a small fortune, enough that she bought a much bigger house and did not have to work for at least a decade after that. Well, I’ve certainly veered off topic. Had I gone to college after high school, my life would most likely have taken different roads. I was adamant about joining the Marines, sure, but I could have done so as an officer instead of enlisting. Even if I had never joined the military, a four-year degree at age 22 may have taken me in different directions. I’ll never know now . . .
Much of that parallels my younger life. As with you, my father disappeared an I vaguely remember him. Mom had to split us up; a sister and I went to FL to live with an aunt, another sister was shipped to where I have know clue, and another brother and sister lived in a children's home. My youngest brother was a toddler and stayed with mom. School was quite boring down in FL; I was reading and writing four grades above anyone else...so I got in trouble periodically. I got mom re-married so we all got together two years later. My step father was abusive and sexually assaulted my oldest sister and tried with the other two. Mom didn't find out until about twenty years later. In high school, I also had little guidance from home and at school. I wish a counselor had mentioned the Military Academies; I was highly qualified and my father was a disabled WWII vet. With no possibility of college, I joined the Navy...I had no desire to go to Nam and get shot at.
Benedict Arnold 