Sounds like you're not a first timer in the birthing ward. But there are ways of avoiding the pooping and ripping.
I had a girlfriend who asked me to help stretch her for six weeks before the due date. This is so intimate and radical that I don't know how many people would be willing to do it. Her partner, the father of her kids had refused (which I thought was very selfish of him.) The technique is to massage first with lots of oil, and introduce objects. Improvise with bottles and jars heated with warm water. Start with a d*ldo, and use tiny increases. The idea is to stretch the skin around the entry until it can comfortably expand to permit a bottle or jar 11 cm or 4 ⅓ inches, the size of the baby's head. The mother is the guide; she says how much is enough and when to stop. For my friend Louise it worked. She had a hard time labouring on her back but near the end, when she turned herself over into doggie position, the baby slid out as though coming down a slippery dip.
This post was edited by inky at July 31, 2020 2:36 PM MDT
it actually is my first time! I’m just nervous about birth so i do constant research. i will look into what you’re talking about tho because i want To have a natural birth without any medication and if that’s one more thing I can do to make it easier, even if i don’t manage the entire 4.5 inches until the actual baby comes, i figure anything helps. I also heard about birthing being easier and safer on all fours, so it’s weird they make you lay on your back to begin with. it makes sense tho because on all fours you have gravity to help you a bit as well. Thanks for the advice!