how can I silence my constant internal monologue

I think just letting your head explode is always an option.

NPC's have it so terrible....you need to be more sympathetic to their plight.  I mean there can be a world threatening event that requires a hero to stop it and all they are programmed to care about is sidetracking said hero so that they can find their lost sheep. Now that I put that into words I might actually think you're right....NPC's have the life.  Or no life.