My wife seems to think that when I’m watching television or listening to the radio that I keep the volume much too high, which causes her to have to raise her voice in order to be heard over the program. I contend that when she knows I’m trying to hear a program and she starts talking over the dialogue, that’s what causes me to raise the volume. If I were not trying to hear a program, it would be quite a different thing, and we do talk with each other on those occasions.
She often seems to have no inkling whatsoever that the precise reason the program is on is that I am following what’s being said.
When the situation is reversed and she is the one watching a show, her way of listening and following dialogue differs so greatly than mine in that she doesn’t focus on nor care about each word that’s being said.
It sometimes boils down to, “Why is the volume so loud?”
“Because I’m trying to hear it.”
”But I’m talking to you.”
”I know that. You started talking to me while I’m trying to listen to this, which is why I turned up the volume.”
”Oh, you’re trying to drown me out?”
”No, I think you’re trying to drown out the program.”
”Why can’t you turn it down?”
”Because when I had the volume lower, you started talking to me and I couldn’t hear it.”
”So that program is more important to you than I am?”
”That’s not what I said. Listen, you’re interrupting the program.”
”Grrrrrrrrrr.”
”Grrrrrrrrrr.”
After knowing each other almost thirty years, this is one aspect of our relationship that has never changed very much. The conversation above could practically be replayed at any point during our time together, and the script would be the same.
So which comes first, the raised voice because the volume is too loud, or turning up the volume because the raised voice drowns out the program?
Mind you, I’m not seeking solutions to the problem here, just opinions on which action comes first.
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You’ve read my mind. Sometimes I hit the mute button but keep staring at the screen. She gets the message. It doesn’t work when it’s the radio, however. When I silence the radio, she thinks it means I’d rather listen to her. Grrrrrrr.
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She’s usually yammering at me about something that one of her friends said or did, and more often than not, it starts like this: “X asked me not to tell anyone, so don’t say a word, but she said that last week, . . . ”
Lol, I’m not sure how long it’s been in my personal lexicon, but I believe it may predate my Marine Corps years. You’ve hit on a good possibility, though, because I can sure enough see myself having used it when I was a Drill Instructor!
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Thank you for your suggestion of the DVR. I won’t be taking that route, however. After more than two decades, this has become our paradigm here, I doubt either of us will ever change. As far as it becoming a fight, naw, not that either, not for us. She just seems to have a knack for chiming in right when the setup of a joke or the punchline is being told, or during a football game right when it’s fourth and three on the fiftieth fifty yard line with three minutes and eight seconds left on the clock, or while the Law and Order marathon is on, and starts bleating about some recipe or new pair of shoes or her nail clippers are missing or the weather girl has gained weight or which friend she ran into at the fabric store or . . .
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This post was edited by Randy D at November 21, 2020 8:27 PM MST
Thank you, edited it.
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Thank you, that’s a great strategy. With my wife, however, such an agreement would only last as long as the conversation in which it’s discussed.
Also, in our household, not every medium allows for pausing or rewinding.
Mind you, I’m not seeking solutions to the problem here, just opinions on which action comes first.
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Thank you.
:)
Thriftymaid 