AnswerMug Challenge Series, Classified Ads Edition: write a funny, silly, goofball ad based on your quirks, or, if you can remain respectful

and not ruffle feathers, write one about one of your AnswerMug friends.

“Missing from suburban home: large, heavy-duty, fireproof, reinforced steel deluxe model storage unit, was filled with valuable and irreplaceable punctuation items at time of disappearance. If the contents can be recovered in their entirety, the strongbox itself is less important. Wife of owner may have hired a hauling company to remove this property from the home while husband attended an Anti-mayonnaise rally; divorce proceedings have been initiated. Handsome reward offered, no questions asked.”





“Shovel-ready plot of land available on outskirts of town, priced to sell, quiet and out-of-the-way area far from prying eyes and nosy neighbors. Buyer must agree to build immediately, several tons of concrete and a towering steel structure are required, but please disregard the freshly-dug spots that appear to be shallow graves. All transactions concerning this deal will be conducted at night, come alone, and no recording devices.”






“Seeking food-preparation experts, cannot be claustrophobic nor have any close relatives and friends who keep close and/constant contact with you. Fear of the dark is also a disqualifying factor.  Interviews will be held one-on-one with the ‘hiring officer’. Please specify your preferred massage oils well in advance of your appointment, and select loosely-fitting clothing. This is not an equal-opportunity position; only women between the ages of 35 to 65 may apply.”





“Private security company or personal bodyguard services in Minnesota needed to repel the impure advances of a California man who can’t take no for an answer. Repeated restraining orders over several years have proven ineffective, stalking attempts take place continuously, to include internet searches for location information and driving to Minnesota to fake a ‘chance meeting’. Certifications for the strongest pepper spray or electronic persuasion techniques can be applied, but don’t restrict yourselves from using methods that cross the lines of legality. Photo of suspect appears below.”



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