Discussion»Statements»Rosie's Corner» We are told there is no such thing as perfection. No one is perfect. How do they KNOW? WHAT IF you are perfect?. Are you completed?
Doesn't work that way ...at least according to therapists (I tried that one).
If one were perfect, they they could neverchange. If they did, they would no longer be perfect; plus it would prove that they weren't perfect to begin with. Perfect can't change (get better). Perfection must have a standard. Each person can't have their own separate standard, as then it wouldn't be a perfect standard.
As an OCD perfectionist I "go for it" every day. To try to obtain perfection only makes the level of what's considered "perfect" get higher. (Trust me, it's a maddening (and lethal) pursuit.) No, I am not completed. I am incomplete (a definite work in progress). If I were complete (perfect) I would already know everything and thus have no reason to learn (and would be unable to learn). I am incomplete, as each day brings me new challenges, new ways to see, new ways to be. If I were complete (perfect), there would be no challenges (any would be beneath my status). I must strive for excellence, not perfection. Perfection is loneliness (no one else is perfect); excellence leaves room to grow.
As usual your argument is compelling and honestly I see no wiggle room. Let me ask you this. Do other folks who are not perfectionists drive you crazy? My mom was a perfectionist. She was not one herself mind you but she expected it from us..her two normal typical daughters. If we did something 99% she focused on that other 1%. I was 50 years old before I stopped trying to please her. I know. I'm sometimes very slow. I think being you must be exhilarating and also frustrating. I know I've told you that my Jim is kinda sorta like you. He notices flaws first. He EXPECTS everything to work optimally all the time. SIGH. For me life is very simple. I try to do my best and that's good enough for me. I don't beat myself up because I screwed up. Geez I'd be black and blue all the time if I did that. As far as I know my motives/intentions are good. Of course I could be lying to myself and not know it. But mostly I live each day happy to be me and blessed too. I encounter folks like you on rare occasions and wonder why they can't see themselves as I see them? Thank you for your reply Shuhak.
This post was edited by RosieG at May 23, 2021 11:01 AM MDT
Hahahahahahahahahaha! Why is it that HONESTY is often so darn funny Shuhak? It just hit me in a tickly way. Well condolences to you. I wonder though WHAT IF you actually achieved perfection? Whom do you think you would be? There would be no more STRIVING for it because you were already there. Would you find something else to strive for to replace it? Seriously. Thank you for your reply Shuhak! :)
This post was edited by RosieG at May 23, 2021 1:12 PM MDT
Oh, if it only worked that way. I can never achieve perfectionism as the closer I get to it (in my mind) the further it gets from me. Even if something was perfect, my mind would tell me that it could be perfecter. I'm constantly beating myself to reach a unattainable goal. I keep a post-it-note on my computer that reads, "Strive for excellence -NOT- perfection".
Geez Shuhak I think you're darn near perfect. I wonder did you have a mom like mine? Never satisfied with what you did no matter what it was? I wonder what drives you to keep seeking "perfect"? Now I'd like to think I try to "do better" than I did before. I'd like to think I try to avoid repeating the same mistakes. But I never beat myself up over it. I don't stress or have it bother me. I don't think my mom damaged me but maybe she did. Maybe with her no matter how hard I tried I could never "win" so somewhere inside I decide to just stop trying. It's not that you have to WIN in competing with others but you have to excel and perfect yourself. That's a really big burden. Do you ever think "I did a really good job"? Are you ever proud of yourself for anything? I sure hope so. What am I proud of myself for? I don't envy and have never felt jealousy. I used to pride myself on not hating but trump changed that. I'm not full of myself and I always enjoy surrounding myself with people smarter than I am from whom I can learn. I'm a 24/7 student always wanting to understand more and better. Maybe proud is too strong a word. Maybe I'm content being that? I don't know for sure. Thank you for your reply. Has it gotten "better" or "worse" as you've gotten older? The striving for perfection?
I'm trying to recall ever being PROUD of myself for anything. I can't because I don't think I ever was. But proud of others? You betcha. All the time. I don't think I'm anything special. ABove average intellectually but nowhere near genius. The only thing I've got going for me is curiosity about everything all the time. And I don't think that comes from me. I think I'm just a delivery system or conduit through which questions keep coming. Maybe that's my job. Asking questions to get people thinking about things beyond the everyday average. I don't know and I'm pretty sure I will never know. Thank you for your reply Shuhak! :)
This post was edited by RosieG at May 25, 2021 8:52 AM MDT
Shuhak 