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Benedict Arnold

How do young women prefer to be addressed by strangers?

I am male, 70-years-old.  I have been taught to address women whose names I don't know as "ma'am," when encountering women who work in grocery stores, retail, etc., or just to draw the attention of random women that I encounter elsewhere (example: "Ma'am," you dropped something.")

A random search on the Internet Indicate that some young women don't like to be addressed as "ma'am" by strangers, because some young women state being addressed as ma'am "makes me feel so old." Or, "My mother is a ma'am, but not me."

I don't address obvious teenager girls as "ma'am," but address them "miss."  However, I still address young women as "ma'am."

Posted - May 30, 2021
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Responses


  • 44649
    I have no idea. I'll ask my grand daughter.
      May 30, 2021 4:57 PM MDT
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  • I don't address obvious teenager girls as "ma'am," but address them "miss."  However, I still address young women as "ma'am."  
      May 30, 2021 5:03 PM MDT
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  • 44649
    You asked how they prefer to be addressed. I usually call them 'young lady'.
      May 30, 2021 5:07 PM MDT
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  • 53524

     

    “You asked how they prefer to be addressed.”

    Good point!
    ~

      May 30, 2021 7:26 PM MDT
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  • 19937
    I used to feel that being addressed as "ma'am" made me feel old, but now that I'm "old," I realize that it is a sign of respect and appreciate it.  I don't recall how we were addressed when we were young women.  
      May 30, 2021 5:38 PM MDT
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  • 10052
    I think I'd go with "Miss" if the woman is obviously younger than you, if you've got to go one way or the other on it. I'm not a fan of being called ma'am, especially by people who are my own age or older.  I think good manners don't need to include "ma'am, miss, sir" and in the times in which we live, it's probably just better to let the gender specifics go by the wayside. Not saying I'm going to forgo it altogether (I'm likely to still call older men 'sir' and older women 'ma'am'), but maybe try to phase it out. 
      May 30, 2021 5:53 PM MDT
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  • 53524


      I am a guy who is definitely and defiantly anti-anti-gender specification, Lady.

    ~

      May 30, 2021 8:29 PM MDT
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  • 10052
    To each their own, dude.  

    With few exceptions, I strive to make others feel comfortable and respected for who they are. I understand that's not the case with everyone. And I admit that I have my own exceptions! For example, I don't hope to make racists feel comfortable or respected. 
      May 31, 2021 1:29 PM MDT
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  • 8214
    Ah dress myself in the morning sugar. This post was edited by Art Lover at May 31, 2021 6:52 AM MDT
      May 30, 2021 7:04 PM MDT
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  • 53524
      May 30, 2021 7:12 PM MDT
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  • 53524

     

      I think it’s out of place to call a young lady ma’am. When I read your post and all of the answers to it so far, it reminded me of an incident in a library wherein some children were being too loud and the librarian, a woman who appeared to be about 40 or 50, had warned them several times that if they wouldn’t comply with the rules, they would have to leave. The librarian maintained  her composure and did not fly off the handle at any moment during any of this. One of the children, a girl of about 9 years old, kept shooting her mouth off, so the librarian began ushering her out. The girl got belligerent, and the librarian kept calling her “madam”, as in, “Collect your personal belongings, madam, you are leaving,” and “I gave you several chances, madam,” and “Madam, you have to leave now.” It just made the girl ignore her more and more, and refuse to budge. I thought it was definitely the wrong word to use for a 9-year-old girl, and obviously, it was ineffective.
    ~

    This post was edited by Randy D at May 31, 2021 1:42 PM MDT
      May 30, 2021 7:23 PM MDT
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  • 10052
    It's a little funny, though. From your description, I don't think it would have made any difference with that particular child if the librarian would have said "miss" or "sweetie" or her actual name. 
      May 31, 2021 1:46 PM MDT
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  • 53524

     

    Calling a 9-year-old “madam” is way over the top for sensible actions. It was ridiculous.

    ~

    This post was edited by Randy D at May 31, 2021 7:23 PM MDT
      May 31, 2021 3:33 PM MDT
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  • 10052
    Sounds ridiculous in an amusing way to me. I'd much rather see that than the way I see too many adults deal with misbehaving children. :)
      May 31, 2021 7:30 PM MDT
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  • 16829
    Miss. My sister-in-law, a 57-year-old spinster, still insists on it. "Ma'am is short for 'Madam', I do NOT run a brothel!"
      May 30, 2021 7:38 PM MDT
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  • Ha, ha, ha!  "Ma'am" an abbreviated form of "Madam!" 
      May 31, 2021 8:32 AM MDT
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  • 34433
    It is actually short for Madame....which is Mrs. in English. 
      May 31, 2021 9:12 AM MDT
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  • 17614
    You're 70.  Surely you can discern how your greetings are received. 
      May 30, 2021 10:40 PM MDT
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  • I don't address obvious teenager girls as "ma'am," but address them "miss."  However, I still address young women as "ma'am."  
      May 31, 2021 8:33 AM MDT
    0

  • 11087
    Hey, you is probably a safe bet. Age and gender are not easily determined.
      May 31, 2021 5:32 AM MDT
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  • 34433
    Ma'am, Mrs., Ms.

    All are fine with me as long as the person is being polite.

    Personally, I use Ma'am and Sir. This post was edited by my2cents at May 31, 2021 4:11 PM MDT
      May 31, 2021 10:28 AM MDT
    1