Becoming a full partner at Randall D Incorporated will require a significant financial investment on your part.

 

  Far too many instances of the same typographical errors to have you join us here, but we do thank you for having dropped in for the interview. Your parking pass will NOT be validated, and you have exactly three minutes to vacate the premises before the hounds are released. Grrrrrrr. 

 

[The sentence contained inside the parentheses must have its first word capitalized, and there must be ending punctuation.]
~

typical graphical errors

isn't capitalizing only one or two letters in a sentence a form of discrimination?  what makes one letter better than another?  why is it that the first letter to show up gets more honor than the others?  shouldn't all letters matter?  aren't all letters created equal?  CAPITALIZE ONE CAPITALIZE ALL!  CAPITALIZE ONE CAPITALIZE ALL!  end the oppression!  CAPITALIZE ONE CAPITALIZE ALL!

letters that have committed certain infractions are required to be inside parentheses.  they're purposely not given punctuation lest they use them to harm themselves, try to escape, or for vandalization.  do you know how many letters have committed suicide using a question mark?  and many is the letter who've used an exclamation mark to pry open a parenthesis.  This is the kind of damage a simple . can do to a ( -  {.  

 

  You see, this is yet another perfect example of why I can never take you anywhere. Grrrrrrr. 

~

  Hey, wait . . .

 

  Er, um . . .
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  That just might get you a part-time entry-level position on the clerical staff, one step above the temps. Try harder.

:|

Twenty-seven sandwiches plus a Ziplock baggie of dog hair. 

  Your services are no longer required here at Rand-All Corporation. Don’t let the screen door hit you where the good Lord split you. Goodbye, Felicia!

:[

Wait a minute.  What if I throw in a few packets of mayo for the sandwiches and a couple of my own head hairs? 

 

  OUT!  Security!  Have this malcontent escorted off the premises immediately! Grrrrrrr.