What is a product or item you’d order and have delivered to your home, but you wouldn’t want to be there when it arrives, and why not?

The "Porch Pirate Preventer" I ordered from Amazon.   If I'm home those jerks won't come.  Maybe i can wait on my neighbor's patio for them to come, then I can see and relish the results (was it money well spent?).  

It's an normal looking Amazon box, but inside the box is a container of semi-liquid excrement with an adhesive agent added, a vial containing essence of skunk, some kind of gas, and an incendiary device.  When the pirates attempt to open the box .... !