too much and I'm afraid I can't smoke pot without coughing and have have had various respiratory diseases in the last 4 years including long COVID, bronchitis and just got off of RSV. I carry around regret from not listening to people. I am not totally serene sometimes and put things down crazy. My best friend accidently killed somebody in a car and I found out he's gay from two other friends. I bake my pot now in pancake batter. I can't find percossetts, gabapentin or any psychedelics. I am laxy as chit. My mental and physical state at 64 is wild and I have high blood pressure with pills. I am poor. I'm stuck playing chess and Scrabble. I want to sit down outside but it's cold out. I tell him cell phones are B.S.and people are effing aholes and we have been saying that together for at least 45 years. I am slightly retarded. I have social anxiety and don't trust people and have no love life now. I don't know how to be a niched music freak. I don't smile or laugh. I can't! I wonder why! I could die!
