All I can suggest is to make the best of what you have and keep climbing up.... It's better than the alternative ... And in the meantime, I think it's time to reread Desiderata again :)
I do in terms of my passing thru life ending up being meaningless. Thinking that my life would be a leaf on a tree, green for a little bit, only to turn orange and gray and die. Without ever meaning anything. I understand that this could stem from some sense of narcissistic grandiosity, but still. I cope by telling myself I have plenty of time.
No struggle. My life is meaningless compared to the scales of time and space, of the universe, and it doesn't bother me. I accept it as a fact of physics that all life, all existence, is without meaning.
But my life is meaningful to me, in the sense that I value the experiences it gives me while I have it. And it has meaning and relevance for my husband and friends.
A good alternative to meaning is purpose. It is something we can each create for ourselves.
I'd just like to modify that slightly ... One well meaning person can have an effect far beyond the act ... That unexpected smile that someone gives you... It elevates your mood then spreads to others... It's like ripples in a pond... You just never know where they're going to wash up and which soul they are going to bathe ...
True. I remember two such occasions. One was 40 years ago, at art school, in London, UK, in mid-winter, 4pm. I was just returning sculpture tools to the toolroom, feeling way below par - had cut off my hair with a pair of blunt scissors - the start of the slide towards an overdose - must have been looking pretty bleak. The technician, a 60 year old Buddhist, said "Look outside the window." I looked, and there was the most magnificent sunset I'd ever seen, the whole sky ablaze like vermillion molten metal. Across the urban skyline, the silhouette of a jet slowly flew. In that moment and for a few hours afterwards, I felt uplifted by that one moment of beauty and by the kindness of a man who could see.
On another occasion, only five years ago, a friend said on the phone, when was the last time you felt bliss. I remembered back to a moment on a Vipassana course, 30 years prior - and in that moment suddenly recognised the source of hapiness and how to find it. It was the start of the recovery from depression - the final one.
So you are right Ozgirl - there's no way of telling when the right word at the right moment can work miracles -- and kindness is infectious! :-)
Hey. .. Thank you for sharing those moments ... and here are those ripples still spreading .. I've a grin on my face id need a bag of lemons to remove :) It's kind of funny how wet often don't see what's around us ... look at the stars rather than the ground you tread :)
Baba 