Discussion » Questions » Home and Garden » Is it possible that the planning stages of house renovations can lead to divorce? It seems as if we're at each orher's throats every single day! Arrrrrrrgggghhhhh!

Is it possible that the planning stages of house renovations can lead to divorce? It seems as if we're at each orher's throats every single day! Arrrrrrrgggghhhhh!

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Posted - July 7, 2016

Responses


  • 17599

    Oh dear.  Wait until you start working and running into problems....................IT WILL ALWAYS BE SOMEONE'S FAULT!!!    Yes, renovating and divorce seem to have a direct link.  :)

    I wish you well in every sense.

      July 7, 2016 8:34 AM MDT
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  • 53509

    Lol, thanks.


    I've tried to defer to my wife by telling her, "As the woman of the house, it's ultimately up to you how everything will look, so please decide now. I don't want to dislike it later, or to say that it should have been done differently."

    Mrs. "Ok."

    RD "Good.  The first question is, how do you want the bathroom remodeled?"

    Mrs. "I'm not a building contractor, so why are you asking me?"

    RD "I'm asking you so that it meets what you want."

    Mrs. "I want whatever looks good."

    RD "Looks good to whom?  To me?  To the contractor?  A contractor might have a different impression of what looks good than you have."

    Mrs. "Well, I don't know anything about it."
    RD  *Sigh. "Then what we'll do is to have them install a pedestal-type sink here on the left side of the . . . "

    Mrs. "That's ugly, why would you put it there?"

    RD "Where do you want it instead?"

    Mrs. "In the same corner where the old sink is now."

    RD "But you've always complained that the door hits it because it's too close to the opening."

    Mrs. "Fine."

    RD "Fine as in what?  Do you want it where the old one is, or do we go with my idea?"

    Mrs. "I don't like your idea.  Put it in the same place at the old one."

    RD "What about the door hitting it?"

    Mrs. "Ok, put it on the left side."

    RD "That's what I . . . never mind.  Left side it is."

    Mrs. "What were you just about to say?"

    RD "I was just agreeing with you; it look better there on the left side, and the door won't hit it."

    Mrs. "How long is all this going to take?"

    RD "The entire job?  About three or four days."

    Mrs. "No, silly.  This conversation."

    RD "Oh, maybe ten minutes."

    "Mrs. "Good."

    RD "Now about the paint, they won't be able to match the color exactly, so when they repaint, this room won't match the others. Is that ok with you?"

    Mrs. "I want the whole interior of the house to be the same."

    RD "Then you want the entire house repainted, right?"

    Mrs. "That'll be too expensive and take will too long!"

    RD "So one bathroom will be a different color scheme."

    Mrs. "Fine, I don't care."

    RD "Did you decide on ceiling fan or ventilator in the family room?"

    Mrs.  "I want both."

    RD "Why? That's inefficient."

    Mrs.  "Well, you asked me."

    RD "I know I asked you.  Look, here are the differences: the ceiling fan is more expensive, the vent won't circulate air as well as a fan will."

    Mrs.  "Ok, make it a vent."

    RD "A vent it is. They'll be here next Monday to take measurements, anywhere from 10 to noon."

    Mrs.  "I want a ceiling fan instead of a vent."

    *Delete, delete, delete. Type, type, type.
    RD "You have your ceiling fan, any other changes?"

    Mrs. "Why so many questions?"

    RD "Because it needs to fit your tastes."

    Mrs. "Whatever looks good."

    RD "Ok, I'll just tell them to . . . "

    Mrs.  "Whatever, I don't care."

    ~

      July 7, 2016 3:50 PM MDT
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  • 34286

    Get a house planning software with 3D view.    Draw the floor plan.  And look at it in 3D view.    Should help get ideas as to what you and the Mrs like and don't like.  There are many books out there to look at also.

      July 7, 2016 3:56 PM MDT
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  • 1002

    Had never really thought about it but, yeah... I could see that as a possibility.

      July 7, 2016 3:58 PM MDT
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  • 53509

    Thanks, those are both great suggestions!

    ~

      July 7, 2016 4:02 PM MDT
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  • 53509

    Thank you.  (Listen, do you have a spare room that my wife can move into?  Thanks in advance.)

    ~

      July 7, 2016 4:06 PM MDT
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  • 77

    Be glad this conversation doesn't involve a trip to ikea. you would be renovating your own apartment right now. 

      July 7, 2016 4:14 PM MDT
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  • 1002

    Oh no, you aren't roping me into this ;)

      July 7, 2016 4:47 PM MDT
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  • Bez

    2148

    If one partner wants house renovations and the other doesn't, then yes, it is possible.

      July 7, 2016 5:00 PM MDT
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  • 53509

    LOL.

    Ok, how about a patio or back yard?

    ~

      July 7, 2016 5:04 PM MDT
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  • 53509

    In this case, we both want to do the projects, it's the details that are tearing us apart.

    She just wants it to happen (magically, I believe) and will not sit down and make it clear exactly what she wants.  She thinks that contractors decide what needs to be done and go from there, I explained to her that the homeowners call the shots.   Knowing her as well as I do, and deferring to her better sense of taste than my own, I need her input.  I have absolutely NO sense of style or decorating.  To her, it's a tedious process that makes her throw her hands up in frustration.  However, if I were to decide everything, I'd spend the next ten years hearing, "I don't like this, this is ugly, this is stupid, you should have done it this way, if you had asked me, I would have said  . . . "

    Maybe I should just save money and get her a one-way ticket to England.  What part of the isle do you live on, Andy?

     

    ~

      July 7, 2016 5:09 PM MDT
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  • 53509

    LOL, you're right.

    :)

      July 7, 2016 5:10 PM MDT
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  • 5808
    Planning stage problems???
    That's nothing
    Just wait
    For the
    When's it gonna end? stage
      July 7, 2016 5:23 PM MDT
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  • 53509

    Yes.

    ~

      July 7, 2016 5:50 PM MDT
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  • 53509

    Garage?

    ~

      July 7, 2016 5:51 PM MDT
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  • 1002

    *Snort*

      July 7, 2016 5:57 PM MDT
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  • Oh my hmmm I feel for you buddy :-)

      July 7, 2016 7:54 PM MDT
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  • LOL!! 

      July 7, 2016 7:56 PM MDT
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  • 53509
    Thank you.
    ~
      July 7, 2016 11:23 PM MDT
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  • 53509
    Terrace? Balcony? Tool shed? Lean-to?
    ~
      July 7, 2016 11:24 PM MDT
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  • 53509
    We're non-drinkers.
    ~
      July 7, 2016 11:25 PM MDT
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  • 1002

    Ever seen "The Money Pit?" For some reason, I'm reminded of it. Tom Hanks is hysterical in that movie.

      July 8, 2016 11:51 AM MDT
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  • 46117

    Oh yes.

    Get HOUNSELING.

    That is house counseling.  

      July 8, 2016 11:52 AM MDT
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  • 46117

    Get rid of her. 

    She is the problem.  The house is fine.

    (don't tell her I said this)

      July 8, 2016 11:55 AM MDT
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