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Baybreeze

Continue contact w/someone who doesn't reply?

My aunt recently had surgery and during her first month of recovery I texted her a kind, heartfelt message saying I was thinking of her, and would like to visit/ see her, etc. Never heard any text , call or email back. She was posting to others on social media each day, but never me. I have NEVER been unkind to her, crass, rude etc. I do remember once her saying in frontof another fam. member , 'call me, dont' text.'. in  a command like way (years ago).. Now thinking back on that, she 'may' have not returned my inquiries b/c i didn't 'call' ?? To me, if someone reaches out in a kind , caring manner it has NO bearing 'how ' they did it. Today she landed in the hospital again and this morning I texted her, I'm so sorry, what has happened, what did they say?, no reply again all day. Do I not continue contact? I feel so low and slighted when she never replied to me before, yet still inquired today, and still shows no reply to me. I'm unsure what to do.. :/

Posted - January 13, 2017
Tags : None

Responses


  • 8223
    There are all kinds of reasons why someone would not reply.
      January 14, 2017 2:07 AM MST
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  • Unfortunately, family can be the absolute worst in the way they treat you. My suggestion, call her, if she doesn't answer, at least you tried....after that? Heck with her! You're trying to be nice, you're concerned and trying to find out how she's doing, and to me...her not responding says a lot....actions speak louder than words.
      January 14, 2017 5:22 AM MST
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  • 1138
    YES :(  I feel though if I call, it was ONLY good to her if I 'called' , i was ONLY good enough to reply to if I did that.. and she'd ONLY talk if that were the method.  I would like to call , however after now beign ignored twice, through text / social media, it doesn't feel good.. I may call anyway, but just wanted to see how ppl would go about it, ty so much Angela  :)
      January 14, 2017 9:10 AM MST
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  • Your welcome, good luck! :)
      January 14, 2017 9:29 AM MST
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  • 11286
    I think you are being too sensitive. A text after surgery is even less personal than a get well card. Your aunt may not even have read it. You know she doesn't like texts. If you care about her, call her. If you don't feel close enough to call, then let it go.
      January 14, 2017 5:25 AM MST
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  • 1138
    I don't think a text after surgery is at all less personal.. I had surgery and if anyone had texted me I'd have been very happy....  to me how someone contacts me is irrelevant.. I think if someone has to request 'how' I contact them it is more a controlling thing .... I might still call but , she has ignored me for months on FB... after asking her kind questions about HER.. you would call someone after them repeatedly not getting back to you, whether text or FB?  (while you see them getting back and talking To every one else) ?? To me I don't like to go crawling and beg for someone to acknowledge me reaching out :(
      January 14, 2017 9:08 AM MST
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  • 1138
    I do appreciate your feedback, though , ty so much :) and also, I may just call anyway. It's just when you are continuously ignored when I've reached out twice now, it doesn't feel great :/  Have a nice one J
      January 14, 2017 9:12 AM MST
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  • 11286
    Well, that's where we differ. I had surgery recently and when I got a text, I thought 'is that all the time you can spare for me?'. In any case, it sounds like you and your aunt are not all that fond of each other, so why not just both of you a break and just let it go?
      January 14, 2017 10:18 AM MST
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  • 1138
    All the time?  So only if you heard that persons voice, would it have been ok? only then, they cared about you? A message shows you care, because when i sent it, I cared.. I cared how she was, and wanted to know. I got NOTHING back.. it shows, she does not care, to reply. I used to be very fond of her, but she is also VERY dramatic.. she will not even usually let me talk at all...  was the person who did not call you a son/daughter? I think only then (or parent) would it maybe be,  'maybe they could call, too?' I think if they texted you Jane they Did care about you.  or else, they wouldn't have, and have asked another how you were.  ;)
      January 14, 2017 11:41 AM MST
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  • 1138
    Also, i hope you are feeling better.. I had surgery last year,  ugh.. Luckily it was not 'too' invasive though.. I hope yours went well too
      January 14, 2017 11:43 AM MST
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  • 11286
    Thank you. 
      January 14, 2017 3:02 PM MST
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  • 11286
    Like I said,we're different that way. I may just be of a generation that finds text messages impersonal. I'm OK with a get well card where I can tell the person took the time to choose it, write a personal message and send it instead of just typing 'How RU?' and clicked send.
      January 14, 2017 3:01 PM MST
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  • 19937
    PICK UP THE PHONE.  You're making your own problems.
      January 14, 2017 9:00 AM MST
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  • 1138
    If you saw your aunt respondeing to everyone else on social media, talking to them, etc, but didn't return your heartfelt message day after day , week after week, and now also does not reply to me texting her, is that making your 'own' problem? I think  it makes me feel sad, or low.  But I might just call anyway.. ty Spunky
      January 14, 2017 9:13 AM MST
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  • 19937
    If that were to happen to me, then I would conclude that my aunt either didn't want to speak with me or expected a phone call and not a text from me.  Perhaps she holds you to a higher standard than the others.
      January 14, 2017 2:06 PM MST
    1