What headline in the news would you love to see, but probably never will?

Orgy in White House.  All members of Trump's selected Senate, Cabinet and House have a wild orgy and group hump Trump.   On film.    On Twitter and On Face Book.

"Nevan B. Declared Lord Emperor of the Republic of California"

It'll happen some day :)

Well apart from my fantasies about Trump being thrown out by the American people who have finally come to their senses and realised he is bad for the country.. 

I'd like to see things like.. that wildlife declines are reversing across the board... not just some species, with most still suffering declines.. I'd LOVE to see that they have finally, once and for all, put wildlife and the environment BEFORE greed and economics - that planning applications on greenfield sites is banned and that even they start to reverse habitat loss... that brownfield sites are being turned into wildlife sanctuaries.. 

Wildlife and the environment are supposed to be material considerations when it comes to planning but in reality it always gets pushed aside when they need to build new houses.

"Caitlin Jenner teams with ConAgra to release own line of specialty cooking shortenings.  Tran's-Fat expected to hit store shelves by late 2017."

Facebook, Uber, and Apple shut down because people want their lives back.

New law prohibits hipster Millenials from existing.

Bloody hell "TRUMP IS IMPEACHED"
or "This election is Null and Void
and will be done again without
the electoral college"

The aliens have arrived and have offered us a way for world peace, freedom from hunger and illness.

Breaking News! Hillary Clinton has been arrested and charged with treason, purgery, and the deaths of Ambassador Chris Stevens, Sean Smith, Glen Doherty, and Tyrone Woods.

TRUMP DECIDES TO COLONIZE NEPTUNE, TAKES FOLLOWERS WITH HIM.

The Clintons and Obama's move to Siberia to give America a chance to
be great again. 

Breaking News - Trump Tweets Himself Into Extinction.

The price of gas dropped down to 25 cents a gallon.

10.  All Democrats and all Republicans finally agree, on EVERYTHING!

9.  No one is complaining about Donald Trump any longer

8.  Grammar Police granted full powers of investigation, search, seizure, and arrest

7.  Eight-day week authorized world-wide, along with four-day/36-hour work week

6.  The playing of loud music in public carries felony charge

5.  Eating as much chocolate as humanly possible not only good for health, increases libido and performance

4.  San Diego Chargers (yes, I know, I know) play just as well in 4th quarter as in 1st three quarters, and for three consecutive/entire seasons

3.  World celebrates the end of hunger, famine, illiteracy, poverty, pestilence, racial hatred, crime and war

2.  Eighties music makes comeback, replaces all the crappy tripe that followed it for 3 decades

1.  Sandwiches for everyone!  

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