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Discussion » Questions » answerMug » Can you give an example of how to disagree without attacking the other person?
Just Asking

Can you give an example of how to disagree without attacking the other person?

There's a great thread around here somewhere and I can't seem to find it. I thought it covered this, but I may be mistaken. It seems as if there is some confusion about what a personal attack is and how it's different from offering a different opinion or disagreeing with someone.

I'd love to hear, in your own words, what the general concept of it means to you.

Posted - February 2, 2017
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Responses


  • 17260
    Stick to the topic (if there is such). Don't name call others. It's possible to tell someone you disagree with them without debasing, or belittling them. I think the biggest issue is where we might feel ourselves under attack, and how we handle it, and when to walk away in time. This is myself included. Hmm.
      February 3, 2017 3:17 AM MST
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  • 10026
    Years ago when I was a young Merlin and learning my Ps and Qs, my Grammie told me something that has proven to be golden in its wisdom.

    When you're at a party or surrounded by a group friends, there are 3 subjects you never bring up:
    Religion. Sex. and Politics. You will loose friends so quickly, it will make your head spin.

    When we do cross those treacherous subjects, or any other that becomes very personal, we must do so carefully.

    Please note:  This is NOT My Opinion.  This is an example of the most belligerent question I could think of. It is to demonstrate an example as you requested.
    Question:  Trump's Barbie Doll, blow-up wife is going to make America the laughing stalk of the world even more than Trump and his locking countries out laws, right?
    First, this is an opinionated statement turned question by the need of your approval.  The "right," at the end makes it a poll question.  An opinion poser question, such as this has no backbone to stand on.
    How I would tactfully answer. 
    Answer:   Barbies are extremely popular worldwide. We hired Trump and I am glad his lovely wife will stand by his side.  Together, they will represent The United States to the best of their ability.
    This approach takes what minimal facts I could find in their question, reassure them by stating them, and move on. This way, they feel they are acknowledged and you pretty much took a negative and turned it positive.  If this makes them angry, I will choose not to engage in the conversation.  I will bow out by simply stating the obvious:  You have a right to your opinion as does everyone surrounding you.  Thank you for sharing yours.
    One of my secret Merlin tactics has always been:  "Kill them with kindness. :)"   Big smiles and happy thoughts to all.  Let's not put negative energy out there.   

    This post was edited by Merlin at February 3, 2017 1:37 PM MST
      February 3, 2017 1:12 PM MST
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