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Discussion » Questions » answerMug » Can you give an example of how to disagree without attacking the other person?

Can you give an example of how to disagree without attacking the other person?

There's a great thread around here somewhere and I can't seem to find it. I thought it covered this, but I may be mistaken. It seems as if there is some confusion about what a personal attack is and how it's different from offering a different opinion or disagreeing with someone.

I'd love to hear, in your own words, what the general concept of it means to you.

Posted - February 2, 2017

Responses


  • "I don't answer any of her questions!" ... but I don't suppose that's what you're looking for. :)
      February 2, 2017 6:06 PM MST
    8

  • 19937
    You state your opinion clearly and concisely, an added bonus would be to back it up with some sort of facts as to why you feel that way, and refrain from calling the person with whom you disagree nasty names or attacking them in a personal manner.  In other words, you don't say, "Hey, stupid, that's just the kind of thing I'd expect to hear coming from a dumb [libtard][conservatard] such as yourself."
      February 2, 2017 6:08 PM MST
    9

  • 5808
    OMG
    too familiar to the replies i would get 
    over the years. HAHA
    a few kind words and then an insult...
    yeah...i just keep scrolling...
    but i am passing on many questions
    just because they have an AB logo for avatar,
    cause i simply don't know.

      February 2, 2017 6:30 PM MST
    4

  •  
    Stick to the actual topic or issue and try and abstain from directing conjecture on people holding the view. It's hard sometimes and sometimes it can't be done at all.  When you come out of the gate making it personal though..... You already lost.


    IDK, I'm probably being a hypocrite and FOS.
      February 2, 2017 6:11 PM MST
    5

  • Personally? I haven't seen any real personal attacks much. A few ,yes but not like some other places. I simply just make a statement of disagreement as simple as possible and try to leave it alone. It's pretty easy to just reply with something comedic and try to diffuse any tension. I see no use to verbally attack anyone. If you disagree, then just say so and let it go. Life is too short to attack people on a website. We're all here to try and enjoy ourselves as peacefully as possible. I just can't see attacking anyone on a website. It just doesn't make sense to me. If someone doesn't like a question or answer? Then so be it. I can't get behind attacking someone verbally over something on a site. I'm sorry but I feel pretty strongly about this.
    I guess the general concept would be verbal abuse. Kind of silly in my opinion.
      February 2, 2017 6:11 PM MST
    11

  • I never understand why some people have such difficulty with this. I'm not saying I'm some saint, but it's not that hard to address the opinion and not the person. One thing you can look out for is how much you use the word "you" when presenting your opinion. It could be a sign that you're addressing the person's character and not the arguments they've made. Additionally, refrain from words like "idiot", "stupid", "ignorant". Even if you think they are. Just focus on the argument. And if the argument is so incredibly stupid that you can't refrain from using words like that, then why address it in the first place? Why waste your time on it? I'd rather have an actual debate than a back-and-forth flame-war. 
      February 2, 2017 6:47 PM MST
    6

  • 7683
    Whenever there's a conflict,it's the tone of voice rather than the difference of opinion that causes ill will. Our behavior is reflected and our character is revealed in the way we conduct ourselves. Things roughen when one takes things personally, instead if he or she realizes that others are only projecting their reality and not attacking you then peace reigns. One must be immune to opinions and actions of others,only then we won't be a victim to needless tension. Disagreement can be expressed cordially and it is best to tackle disagreement differently with different people. 
      February 2, 2017 6:53 PM MST
    3

  • Let me put it this way...
     
    I feel real sorry for the uneducated, dimwitted people that like green popsicles, they obviously aren't intelligent enough to understand how blind they are. Green unintelligeniuses need to wise up before they end up with green tongues. Agree?

    Is this really a question or viable response? Seem like a thinly veiled personal attack, but generalized. Unless, of course, I actually like green popsicles. Now, I must be an idiot. Thanks.

    Why I avoid all things like this because there's no interest in intelligent debate, and there isn't much of a point anyways. Consensus nowadays seems to be agree or hike it. So, I'll stick to the silly questions. 

    After all, what do I know, I never went to college.
      February 2, 2017 7:10 PM MST
    4

  • Green popsicles are the best when they're lime. They're the worst when some uneducated dimwit decides to change green to apple.
      February 2, 2017 7:17 PM MST
    3

  • Now you just invited the fairies of the apple popsicle forest to descend upon you with all their wrath. Reap what you sow. Da da da.

      February 2, 2017 7:24 PM MST
    2

  • I'm sick of this green apple conspiracy. Ich liebe dich nicht, du liebst mich nicht.
      February 2, 2017 7:27 PM MST
    2

  • 17261
      February 3, 2017 3:13 AM MST
    2

  • 17261
    Why bring apple into this? Oh, apples... I like apple flavor. Mhmm.
      February 3, 2017 3:11 AM MST
    0

  • 17261
    To the point. Oh, have me excused... I need to get back to my silly questions.
      February 3, 2017 3:09 AM MST
    0

  • 34246
    Talk about the topic not the person. 
      February 2, 2017 7:49 PM MST
    4

  • 2658
    I won't get into name calling.  Express the old adage: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never harm me. 

    Refrain from retaliation. This post was edited by Beans/SilentGeneration at February 2, 2017 8:20 PM MST
      February 2, 2017 7:58 PM MST
    2

  • 11101
    Maybe by starting with a little humor - like if someone said that making changes  in Government would be too hard you could start your disagreement by saying - thats what she said. Then you move on to stating your point of view in a polite way. Cheers!
      February 2, 2017 8:29 PM MST
    1

  • 18
    A personal attack would be condesending and insulting to the person .. Like, for example .. If I were to say,  "What a stupid perspective!" or "How can you be so stupid" , now THAT would be a personal attack ... However, a difference of opinion would be more like "I don't agree with your perspective, and here's what I think about the topic  ... "

    Big difference in cause and effect This post was edited by bikergirl40 at February 4, 2017 6:29 PM MST
      February 2, 2017 9:15 PM MST
    3

  • "Thank you for being patient. Even with your.limited.understanding of the issues, you still managed to sound intelligent."   No?

    I think that if a person can put together a rational argument, they can refrain from attacking the other guy. I try to not use the word "you" when im upset.
      February 2, 2017 10:58 PM MST
    1

  • 10026
    Lago~  That is a wonderful suggestion and tactic.  I totally dig it!

    When we use the word you, we are pointing and blaming.  They obviously know what they said and/or how they feel.  There is no need to remind them.  Also, the blame game is never a good one to use.  Many people don't learn this until the damage done is irreversible. 

    If you don't mind, I'd like to incorporate your idea back into my negotiating tactics.  It is a great one!
    Thanks! 
      February 4, 2017 6:34 PM MST
    0

  • Example: 
    I like Trump, he is the best.
    Response:
    F_ck you!

    That is an attack, but...
    I like Trump, he is the best.
    Response:
    I think his policies are mostly sh_t, have a nice day. : )

    Now that's how I would do it, that's classy. 
      February 2, 2017 11:23 PM MST
    0

  • Which one is the classy one again?
      February 3, 2017 7:26 AM MST
    0

  • The 2nd one because I addressed Trump's policies rather than attacking the other Answermugger.

    Everyone is entitled to their own opinions as long as they aren't attacking or promoting abuse etc.

    Swearing is ok, that's just my opinion.
      February 3, 2017 8:04 AM MST
    0

  • I understand, thanks Worrk.
      February 3, 2017 8:18 AM MST
    1