Discussion » Questions » Relationships » Have you ever sought out love and it worked out.... or did you wait for fate to step in?
Baybreeze

Have you ever sought out love and it worked out.... or did you wait for fate to step in?

I feel strange trying to seek out love; ex, dating sites, date set ups etc. almost like those things seem forced? On the other hand I think waiting is tricky... who knows if there is really a 'one' out there, or they'll magically find you :/ In either scenario I am still bummed b/c I often feel unworthy of real love or b/c I have abuse in my past , I'm 'tainted' in a way ... ugh any personal experience welcome

Posted - February 15, 2017
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Responses



  •              "I'm waiting."
      February 15, 2017 8:47 PM MST
    2

  • and waiting, and waiting...

    love it. :D 
      February 15, 2017 9:26 PM MST
    1

  • 283
    I had several bad relationships, and then i became a "serial dater". It wasn't until I quit dating, and took time to figure out what I wanted in life, other than someone to share it with. Then I made a plan to get that. Then I started working on that plan. It wasn't until that happened that I found someone. He was on the same path I was. We ended working on our goals together. We just celebrated our 20th anniversary last month.
      February 15, 2017 9:10 PM MST
    2

  • 1138
    Wow, what a story, ty Gator!!! That is great, find what I want first, and THEN focus on who/what to share in my life.... I don't even know what I want sometimes :(  or rather, I don't feel I deserve joy, which inhibits me from things :/  I think whether I look for love or it falls into me, I need to like ME first fully .... ty again G :)
      February 15, 2017 9:45 PM MST
    0

  • 7790
    It's never worked out. So, I've stopped looking.
      February 15, 2017 9:28 PM MST
    0

  • 1138
    :( *hugggg. *  Wh o k nows, you could find them tomorrow :)
      February 15, 2017 9:43 PM MST
    1

  • I found it on the floor of a dance hall. It was 1958 and I was square dancing. My partner was a pretty blonde and, of course, I was showing off. I went gee when I should have gone haw and we both ended up sitting on the floor. I apologised, bought her a milkshake, and we produced a dynasty/ 

    There's the secret, Baybreeze: go square dancing. 

    Seriously: put yourself into situations where you can meet people. Don't rush, don't expect to find somebody special overnight. But when you meet enough people you'll find any number whose company you enjoy. One of them might be just right for you. Or not. Just remember, it's better to be on your own than to be in a bad relationship.
      February 15, 2017 9:31 PM MST
    1

  • 1138
    Aww, thanks Didge! You seem like a natural gentleman and she enjoyed your dancin ;) That is wonderful... so glad to hear such a great story. If it was a coffee milkshake I would jumped for joy LOL...

    I guess I also have to work on loving 'me.' I have had years of abuse, and feel tainted, like any guy , once they found out, would deem me less, and ditch me :(  so going out to mingle becomes so nerve racking and I just end up not doing it. I'd LOVE to meet someone kind, funny, who I feel comfortable with that my nerves won't even be in play... thanks for all your advice, it was so kind D :)
      February 15, 2017 9:43 PM MST
    1

  • Long story short.....in a relationship for a very looooong time, never felt quite right, very controlling, but I stayed, it was all I knew. I left that relationship, not looking for any type of relationship and definitely not dating. I became friends with several people on a site like this...one of which, unbeknownst to me, I was destined to meet...I've never looked back. He's the best person I've ever known. Hang in there, you'll find that person!
      February 16, 2017 6:42 AM MST
    0

  • 1138
    Wow amazing :) Thanks A
      February 16, 2017 7:07 AM MST
    1