I see your reply to Ozzy. It sucks really bad for awhile and goes day by day for awhile. Really it's getting to know yourself on an individual basis again. Once that happens it starts to get easier to move on from it. Sometimes a few weeks, sometimes a few months.
It definitely hurts! What happens next i think is up to you .... you can take it as a learning experience or you can go run and hide ... please don't ask me how to choose between those options though ... I'm still trying to figure that one out!
Always the hardest, the first time ... Give yourself time to grieve... It's useless to pretend nothing is wrong .... But at the same time try to carry on with the normal things in life.. they're important ... Good luck :)
I think it depends upon how emotionally you're invested in the relationship in the first place. I had a couple of relationships that lasted a few months. When each ended, neither one left me feeling either stronger or weaker. I remember feeling relieved. Two long term relationships I was emotionally invested in left me exhausted, raw, and I guess weaker for want of a better word. But, I knew in my heart they weren't the right people for me so, I guess once I moved past the hurt, it left me stronger in that I was more sure of what I wanted in a relationship. When I finally found the right person for me, I knew it.
I'm presently going through a phase of mixed feelings of agony and relief, and I can't tell for sure which predominates. It's all very fresh at the moment, and I guess time will get things to settle down by themselves, one way or the other. Thank you, Harry.
It can go either way.. most times you can grow stronger from it.. but I promise you that isn't always so.. you can be as strong as you like but that stuff can turn your whole world upside down.. I don't believe we can always control how it affects us.. those who said it depends on the investment etc, imo are closer to the truth.. I don't believe we can choose how we handle it.. I don't think it signifies any sign of fault or flaw if it completely floors us..
And above all.. I honestly believe, as I have said often on here - it can change you.. and not for the better. it can make one unwilling to try, to venture, to trust another, to love... and that's NOT a good thing.. sure it will protect one from further hurt but one is not as good, not as whole, not as open a person as they once were.. that's lamentable
There was a time in my life that such break ups made me weaker. I was not in a good place at the time and was already in a weakened state. Had no business being in relationships but didn't value being alone in my own skin yet. Being with someone was more important than anything including what it could do to my mental state. As time wore on I became a shell. In time though, I got myself together. Starting looking within for value instead of relying on others for my worth. So, break ups made me stronger. I learned from every single one.
Doesn't necessarily make you neither weaker or stronger. It's all in our handling, and how well we manage to continue with our lives. It will give us an added experience, and if we can take the good parts with us and leave the sad ones behind we might get out stronger in the longer run. Hmm.
Benedict Arnold 